Unlikely Love
by HellHoundess
Summary: Steelbeak decides to take over the Fearsome Five and Celeste falls for a certain member of the Four, much to her father's distaste. Rating for language in later chapters
1. Chance Meeting

Unlikely Love  
Chapter 1:  
Chance Meeting  
By Hell Houndess  
  
Editor's note: This story is a Fearsome Five/Darkwing Duck/ Steelbeak RPG editted for public enjoyment. Maybe you'll all love it, maybe you'll all focus on the angst, the thing with QJ getting mixed up with a 14 year old, I don't care. Flame away if you must but *I* happen to love it so I'm posting it anyway. ^_^ The RP it's based off was actually considerablly longer and involved DW who I guess you can tell when you read this is pretty absent as well as Gosalyn, Launchpad, and the fan character, Molly Dove, who were all involved. The reason not being that i don't like any of these chars cause I love them all but the plotline they were in was seperate from the one of the Fearsome Five and I really really wanted to focus on Celeste and Quackerjack mostly in this. I still had to cut out a lot of great scenes just to get this to a managable size so if any of my many fellow RPGers who helped me with the RP for this story read this and find a certain chuck their char was involved in missing it's nothing personal but it took me forever to edit this portion as is.Please don't be mad? (bats eyes) anywho, on with the credits and then the story.  
  
* * *  
  
My Special thanks to the Cast of RPers:  
  
Negaduck911 Roaming Tigress(this coincides with her Steelbeak series if you get confused so go read it!) DarkwingPyscho Molly Dove Quackybell The LauderDale Ironduck_ca Celeste Mallard  
  
* * *  
  
All day Staring at the ceiling Makin' friends with shadows on my wall All night Hearing voices telling me that I should get some sleep Because tomorrow might be good for something Hold on Feeling like I'm headed for a breakdown and I don't know why  
  
Well I'm not crazy I'm just a little unwell I know right now you can't tell But stay a while and maybe then you'll see A different side of me I'm not crazy I'm just a little impaired I know, right now you don't care But soon enough you're gonna think of me And how I used to be  
  
Me, talking to myself in public And dodging glances on the train And I know I know they've all been talkin' bout me I can hear them whisper And it makes me think that there must be something wrong with me Out of all the hours thinkin Somehow I've lost my mind  
  
*** Around noon time one Summer day in St. Canard, a somewhat demented villain licked his wounds in his own personal hideout-an abandoned toy factory. The jester named Quackerjack was sitting on a giant teddy bear, his banana doll clenched forlornly in one hand. "It's not fair!" he whined about a past caper gone wrong, "That jewel was mine! All mine!" He stopped before it evolved into a temper tantrum and stared thoughtfully off into the distance. A small smile crossed his face. "Mr. Banana Brain." he started carefully, "What is it called when you convince people to do things for you because you know something about  
  
them?"  
  
"Extortion?" Mr. Banana Brain suggested.  
  
Quackerjack chuckled evilly. "It's against the law, right?"  
  
"Right." Mr. Banana Brain agreed.  
  
"Alright, fair enough. Just making sure that I'm not doing something sensible." He assured himself.  
  
"What's the plan?" Mr. Banana Brain inquired.  
  
"It's nothing to do with you, nosy. In fact, I don't even know that I trust you enough to take you with me." Quackerjack said suspiciously, "You might wreck it all."  
  
Without further conversation, he tossed the doll to the side and walked over to his wardrobe. He shrugged on a trench coat, muttering about the `fashion disasters' that he had to put up with to go incognito, and then stepped outside, locking the door behind him. "What with all the nutcases in town nowadays, one can't be too careful." he giggled, aware of the irony. "I'm sure Megs won't mind if I borrow his car. oh, no, wait. he minded last time." Quackerjack mused, remembering the last time he had tried to wheedle Megavolt into taking the car for a drive."Well, it was that old woman's fault, anyway." He said darkly, "She was hogging the *whole* sidewalk." He sighed, and started off down the sidewalk, deciding to walk instead.  
  
It took him upwards of fifteen minutes to reach his destination, one of the numerous hideouts of Agent Steelbeak. Of course, since Quackerjack was in the villains' circle, he knew many of his  
  
partners' hangouts, and had managed to glean a precious few of Steelbeak's after getting a few Eggmen drunk at a card game. Crossing his fingers, he hesitated, then knocked.  
  
Steelbeak's eggmen have been changed from their former yellow-clad idiot status to the efficently-trained,silver-and-black wearin' bad-to-the-bone dudes who,over just a short period of time, became the most efficent army in the world. However, every so often, they'd revert to their stupid selves.  
  
Steelbeak, the criminal kingpin of St. Canard,responded to the knock to the door with a groan. "Yeah, who is it?"  
  
He opened the door and rolled his eyes when he saw it was Quackerjack. With a sigh, he grabbed hold of hishandgun, just in case the fool tried to break in."What d'ya want?"  
  
Quackerjack's eyes bulged out more than usual and he took several hasty steps backwards.  
  
"Whoa, somebody got out of the bed on the wrong side today!" he commented, half-alarmed, half-amused. "Why are you so paranoid, anyway? It's not like I could do anything to hurt you, being the criminal genius that I am." Quackerjack trailed off, blinking, as he looked Steelbeak up and down. "My dear Steelbeak. you look positively terrible! Why, you look almost like I feel." Quackerjack commented, producing several brightly-colored beanbags seemingly out of nowhere and juggling them absently.  
  
"Listen, times have been kind of slow lately for crime in my area." he rolled his eyes at the thought, in exasperation, "Especially for items of my caliber. It seems everything's either below or above me. And let me tell you something: Megavolt may be content with pilfering light bulbs, but that is NOT my cup of tea. I need some help. Since you were the one who managed to thrash the living daylights out of me when I tried to steal that diamond, with several well trained flunkies, I decided that you'd be the best one to ally myself with.."  
  
He stopped and turned, noticing a pretty young girl with hazel eyes headed down the street. His eyes widened evilly. "Hello." he said, quietly. He nudged Steelbeak and pointed, dropping  
  
several of the beanbags, but somehow managing to keep a good amount of them in the air. "Hey, pleasure before business, right? Let's go see if she'll go out with one of us!" Quackerjack urged, prodding Steelbeak, "I've got a bunch of new inventions that need a willing audience.or an unwilling one, for that matter.. What do you say, buddy?"  
  
*** (earlier) Celeste Mallard tried focusing on her homework but her mind kept wandering. She hated being kept after class. It wasn't HER fault that that sissy girl in art class had fainted from her realisticrepresentation in clay of a half eaten zombie. Some people had no taste nor imagination! The 14-year old scowled and scribbled something illedgible on her geomerty worksheet before stuffing it in her binder. Knobs anyway.  
  
She yawned and glanced out the window, noticing it was halfway open and a gleam filled her hazel eyes. Well no one else was here, she might as well skip out early. She shouldered her backpack and pried the window open, climbing out and sneaking off school grounds. Thiswouldn't help her report card much but her father was never much concerned in those manners. She strolled toward the bad part of town without so much as a worry. * * *  
  
Steelbeak hadn't seen this girl wandering about before, maybe she was new. With a shrug, he decided to see for himself. He wasn't too fond of teenagers or children, aside from hs own, and for some reason or another delighted in terrorizing them.  
  
"Youse new 'round 'ere?" He asked, his voice a mix of friendliness and  
  
hostility.  
  
Celeste stopped in her tracks as the rooster approached her and fumbled with the shoulder strap of her bag nervously. She may have only been fourteen but she'd been around villains long enough to know you never turned yer back to one for risk of getting a knife in it. "You could say that, I guess.." Her eyes wondered to the duck in the jester's suit who was also coming toward her with a flash of recognition. Ofcourse this would be the opposite of the Quackerjack  
  
she'd known in the Negaverse but still she recalled a few run-ins with the Friendly Four and wasn't so sure if she wanted to make his aquaintance. She was actually more intimidated by him than the unknown rooster but determined not to show it, narrowing her eyes  
  
at Steelbeak, "And who exactly wants to know, eh?"  
  
"When I ask somet'ing I respect an answer," Steelbeak told her in a sinister tone, circling Celeste and eyeing her every move. "De name's Steelbeak, High Command of FOWL and most powerful boid in all of St.Canard..." he said suavely, motioning towards Quackerjack and the Eggmen. "And dese are my associates..."  
  
Celeste was by now getting annoyed with the rooster. she'd been around big egos before and was less than impressed by them or sinister boasting. She crossed her arms and rolled her eyes, "Most powerful bird in St. Canard? Riiiiiight, Biggest Knob is more like it. Everyone knows Negaduck is the most powerful bird ANYWHERE, pal." She glanced at Quackerjack and smirked ,"something yer associate could probably tell ya."  
  
"Youse jus' picked de wrong boid ta mess wit', littlegoil..." Right about now, Steelbeak's temper was rising. How dare that girl not take him seriously, and if there was anything that was on his lists of things he hated, that would be definately on the top five! Celeste reminded him of Gosalyn, someone who more than one had ruined his missions. "Little girl, youse know nothin' of what I am. I fought tooth and claw ta get at what I am now, and I do a lot more den just wave around a chainsaw like Negadork does..."  
  
Celeste, who's temper was every bit as bad if not worse than Steelbeak's, snarled, her eyes blazing as she jabbed a finger in his chest which was about where her head reached," Who you callin' little?? I'm 14, Bucko, and I've taken on guys twice yer size." her jaw dropped in stunned rage at his joking insult about the masked mallard and her normally pleasant eyes took on a red tinge, "What did you call my fa...I mean, Negaduck?!?! Listen here, you tin-faced  
  
chicken, those are fighting words!!"she dropped her backpack, utterly serious as she pushed up her sleeves,"Put um up! No one insults him ta me and walks away without missing a limb!"  
  
Steelbeak's anger was turned to amusement as she tried to push him around. He's had Gosalyn try this, and nottaking her seriously, he merely laughed at her attempsat trying to be intimidating.  
  
"You and what army, kiddo?" He laughed, placing a hand on her forehead and trying to shove her aside. Old Steelbeak wasn't going to let "some kid" ruin his day.Not even one that was associated with Negaduck,someone who he even feared. "So yas wanna push de old  
  
Steelbeak 'round, hon? I gotta tell yas, de last time someone tangled wit' me, dey ended up in de ER fer abroken back and neck!"  
  
Celeste scowled, not bothering to take a swing at him and promptly brought up one foot, kicking him hard enough in the shin to make his leg buckle then glared down at him, "Never mess with a Negaverse girl, Bud. We tend to bite." Her temper sobered and she looked at  
  
him expectantly with an almost prim, polite air, "I expect an apology now for your earlier comment. I don't take insults to Negaduck too kindly. get the picture?" She has a dangerous glint in her eye, "And don't try anything, my dad'll fry you alive." She pushed back a short lock of aburn hair and tapped her foot impatiently, her cinnamon colored feathers and the bright teal  
  
patches around her eyes far more evident in the late noon sun. She stuffed her hands in the pockets of her black jeans, her red sweater shifting in the wind.  
  
YEOWwwww!" Steelbeak yelped, grimacing in pain as he clutched his scrawny, sore leg. He looked up at her with shock and disbelief, not geting over the fact that this kid had just knocked him down. He looked around to see if anyone else was with her. There was  
  
no one, only Celeste and himself. And ofcourse Quackerjack. Which made him even more determined to put the girl in her place. Seething, he got up off the ground on his good leg and then collapsed back onto the ground.  
  
"I am going to get youse fer dis...!" he hissed.  
  
"Just what is going on here?" Victoria asked, attracted to the commotionn. A lovely duck with long black hair, Steelbeak's wife gave off a far more lethal feeling that her husband, as none of it was a bluff. She saw that Steelbeak was lying in front of Celeste, obviously in pain. "Did that kid just beat you up?!"  
  
"No...I...Uhh...Tripped, and she just laughed and pointed at me!" Steelbeak lied, trying to make itsound not-so-degrading.  
  
"I wish everyone wouls top calling me a kid!" Celeste complained in frustration," I'm a villain in training for crying outloud! And yes, he insulted someone very dear to me so I gave him a piece of my mind, which Quackerjack over there unless he has a different name he goes by in his dimension can attest to. Now I'd APPRECIATE an apology," she glared at Steelie with these last words, the sole of her worn sneaker still tapping the ground impatiently.  
  
"Villain in training...Pfft...I'm a real villain!" He retorted.  
  
With some assistance from Victoria, Steelbeak got up back on his feet, keeping his weight on the good leg.He dusted himself off and saw that his own wife was not very pleased with him. Humiliated, he grinnednervously and tugged at the collar of his jacket."Eh...I just...Uhh..."  
  
"Villain in training...Pfft...I'm a real villain!" He retorted.  
  
With some assistance from Victoria, Steelbeak got up back on his feet, keeping his weight on the good leg. He dusted himself off and saw that his own wife was not very pleased with him. Humiliated, he grinned nervously and tugged at the collar of his jacket."Eh...I just...Uhh..."  
  
Victoria crossed her arms over her chest and scowled,looking up at him with a stern expression. "Go on, say it!"  
  
Steelbeak looked away from the two. He was outnumbered, and if he wasto apologize it would have to be right now. The HighCommander rather wished he could just crawl away and feel sorry for himself after getting beat up by a girl."I'm...Sorry..." He whispered bitterly yet shamefully, finally making eye contact again with Celeste.  
  
Celeste nodded silently. Quackerjack had watched all of this with a neutral expression, one of his hands in his pockets, fingering a Joy-Buzzer and wondering in his vague way whether or not it was a good time for a joke. He blinked at Celeste, worried but slightly awed at the same time."I suppose no introductions are necessary, since you already seem to know me.or at least the Nega-me. But let's not forget that any friend of Negs is a friend of mine." He couldn't help but laugh  
  
nervously. Old habits died hard, and he remembered that he didn't exactly have permission from Negaduck to be out and about. He glanced back at Steelbeak, seemingly ignoring Victoria, and  
  
smirked. "Beaten by a girl. That's going to go on your track record, you know." He mumbled, "I'm actually embarrassed to have witnessed it, but it's my civic duty to report any and all flaws to my boss."  
  
He said, grinning. "Actually. since we all appear to be friends here. why don't we all go on a little crime spree, hmm? It'll be good bonus points for you. You might even learn some tricks from me!" he exclaimed, nodding at Celeste, "And." he turned back to Steelbeak, "It might help you redeem yourself."  
  
Celeste smirked. She was starting to kinda like this version of Quackerjack, at least he wasn't some dopey do-gooder..and he was kinda cute too she thought, blushing a bit. She had no idea how she'd keep from slipping up and letting them all know who her father was but oh well, it was bound to come out in the villain community eventually that Negaduck had an adopted daughter. She fought a snicker of amusment at the thought of the Fearsome Four's faces when they found out. She'd missed so much happening in the last three years being seperated from Negs after that universal portal went caput but that was then and this was now...and she didn't have to be back at the hideout right now...."Count me in! What are we talking? Robbery? Blowing something up?" Her hazel eyes sparkled with mischeif and she cracked her knuckles.  
  
* * *  
  
The plan ended up being a citywide takeover, something which Celeste wasn't sure she was actually wanted to be part of but she listened in as the others planned it out anyway. At the moment Quackerjack was speaking.  
  
Quackerjack nodded eagerly, his bells flapping up and down. "Yeah, sounds good! I mean, the rest of the Fearsome Five and me have tried that before, but Darkwing was there then, and we were pretty inexperienced. As an added plus-" Quackerjack froze in mid-sentence.  
  
He had been about to say, `We won't have Negaduck to boss us around,' without thinking, right in front of a girl who, as was his interpretation, knew Negaduck and was friends with him. He glanced at Celeste and Victoria, then continued with an altered thought, "-  
  
There's some feministic equality in the group now." he recovered swiftly.  
  
"This whole city could be ours in a matter of days, and those other wanna- be villains will have to find another place to pillage! Think of all the toy stores!" Quackerjack said thoughtfully. "With your permission, of course." He added hastily, to Celeste and Steelbeak: Celeste because he was worried about Negaduck still, and Steelbeak because it was his idea. Quacky was a follower, and so he had likened to the idea of Steelbeak being his leader. That way, any problems that arose couldn't be pinned on him. Quackerjack grinned winningly at the both of them.  
  
Celeste didn't know if taking over the entire city without his knowledge would exactly tickle her father pink, but then this was what she was training for, right? "Uh..I..I'll go with Quackerjack," she responded with a shrug, her cheeks taking on a rosey tint as she glanced at him  
  
from the corner of her eye, twisting her sweater's bottom flap in her delicate hands nervously.  
  
Quackerjack looked at Celeste curiously. He wondered obscurely why she had chosen to team up with him, of all people. He had half-sensed that most of his teammates found him annoying, only putting up with him because they had to, back when the Fearsome Five had been in full  
  
action.He offered her a warm, friendly smile, saying nothing of his thoughts. Instead, he tried to make small talk as they walked, "I.um. we don't have to go to the toy stores first, if there's  
  
somewhere you wanna go instead." he said, quietly.  
  
Celeste felt a rush of heat in her face. he had the best smile she'd ever seen..she blinked  
  
and shook her head to clear it. ~Okay, head outta the clouds,girl ,back to business.~ "Uh..toys are ok...I stopped playing with um when I was 12 but I still have a few in my room." She neglected to mention these include a plushie of Darkwing and smiled nervously,"Uh..we could  
  
check out the art supplies while we're there anyway, I'm seriously running low on canvas and good brushes, dad says I run through those like napkins er something." She shrugged.  
  
~Why is she blushing?~ Quackerjack asked himself. ~Did I say something wrong again? Maybe she thinks I'm too childish...wouldn't be the first person to think that. But she seems like she wants to have fun. She's certainly enthusiastic enough about the crime spree...she has a  
  
nice laugh, too. I wonder who her dad is...?~He shook his own head, snapping himself back to the present and away from his meandering thoughts, unconsciously mimicking her own action.  
  
At least she didn't mind that they were going to the toy store. He wasn't big on art himself, preferring music to it, but at any rate, it was something to talk about. He considered a question for a long time, taking a few of his remaining beanbags out and resuming juggling them artfully while walking along beside her. Finally, he found a conversation-starter in his thoughts; 'What type of things could she paint?'  
  
His mind summoned possible responses like unicorns and fairies-girlish things that would probably not be very interesting to him. But he was making the effort, at least, and something about her spoke silently that she didn't paint girlish things at all. It was that which goaded his question. "What kind of things do you paint?"  
  
Celeste blinked and shuffled her feet nervously. Most people found her odd for her artistic style. She couldn't even count the times her dad had been called by the principal out of "concern for her mental health" but she forced those thoughts back and replied, "zombies... werewolves... vampires... and a few less bloody portraits. Everyone in school thinking I'm an axe murderer in the making or as my teachers put it "a disturbed young woman" but heck I say who can define normal anyway, right?" She shrugged and kicked a stray soda can on the sidewalk into the gutter and grinned at him.  
  
Right." Quackerjack agreed, nodding so vigorously that he dropped more than half of his remaining beanbags. He ignored them, figuring that he had plenty more in his pockets.  
  
"But they really shouldn't underestimate your abilities, either. I mean, if you're in good with Negaduck's books, you'll grow up to be way better than an axe murderer." He said, seriously. Silently, he was wondering if she liked grim reapers, too. They had always been his favorites, and he had one of them in his coat, along with various other things.  
  
She was still smiling at him. He grinned back, warming instantly to her friendly manner. He  
  
couldn't remember the last time he'd had a straightforward talk with somebody, just saying whatever he felt like and not worrying about ruining his reputation to the `guys'. He nodded to himself absently, and said, "I can't help but think that robbing toy stores won't do wonders for your public in the criminal world. If you really wanna impress Negaduck, we should try to go big. Show that we really helped Steelbeak big in the takeover scheme. You up for that?" he asked.  
  
"heck yah! That'd be great!" Celeste replied, her hazel eyes sparkling and she blushed slightly at his compliments. " Well..to be perfectly honest it's not that I'm all that evil or smart..it's more of the fact that I'm a relation than anything that makes him kinda linient with my mistakes, you know?" she admitted, pulling at the collar of her sweater.  
  
A boy a little bit taller than her ran by, bumping into her and snapped," Watch it, Brownie!"  
  
Celeste's eyes narrowed and she glanced at Quackers. "Excuse me a moment."  
  
she dragged the punk into an ally and thrashing sounds along with yelps followed before she came out, dusting her hands off, "Sorry, one of my pet peeves, I HATE being called that. So anyway, what'd you have in mind? say, we could take out the police department!"  
  
Quackerjack gulped. He fought the urge to peer into the alley and see just how badly she had thrashed the kid. His curiosity won out and he ducked his head around, took a good look, and then swallowed again.  
  
"A relation, huh?" he mumbled, wondering how close the two were. Negaduck had never mentioned her to him. but then he couldn't have expected him to. The Boss didn't tell the rest of them anything. Celeste certainly was easier to get along with than Negaduck was,  
  
though. "Knocking out the police sounds like a good idea for starters." he said, mischievously, "But let's think a little bigger than that, shall we? If we take out the police system-we can release all the criminals who're in prison! Even if Dimwit Duck were to come back to find us taking over the city, he'd be too busy rounding up purse-snatchers and jaywalkers! Ohh. it's perfect! If I know Darkwing like I think I do, he'll want to arrest every criminal in sight. and while  
  
he's preoccupied, we can meet back up with the boss-err-Steelbeak, and tell him how it went." Quackerjack amended quickly and a little tentatively. He wasn't sure how she'd take his idea, and he didn't fancy being beaten to a pulp like that kid had been.  
  
"Great idea! Shere brillance!" she beamed and kissed him on the cheek,"See, I knew i should stick with you, you're a lot smarter than they give you credit for. Let'as get started." She cracked her knuckles and started off, pausing as she noticed Quackerjack glancing in the ally. "Oh, don't worry 'bout that, I only do that to people who call me that name.." she shuddered and made a face. "I hate that. It's kinda like Megavolt's thing with being called Sparky.  
  
Oh and incase yer wondering what I meant by relation, I'd probably better clarify that. I'm Negaduck's adopted daughter but don't tell everyone, I mean they might think he's going soft if they knew and then he'd have to kill them." She shrugged and walked off toward the police station whistling.  
  
Quackerjack stood for a few seconds in stunned silence, less from the peck on the cheek than the revelation that preceded it. She was Negs' adopted daughter? Wild. "Err. Mental note. Don't say. `The Name'." He said, half to himself.  
  
He enjoyed baiting Megsy, there weren't consequences, like being pummeled, to follow. Maybe a brief electrical shock, but he was used to that. Perhaps when Celeste knew him better and they became real partners in crime, she'd let him call her a different cute nickname, one that she liked. Maybe `Celia,' or `Cee'. And she could call him QJ or Quacky, as opposed to his formal name. A small smirk crept onto his beak at the thought.  
  
He followed her to the outside of the police station, discarding the rest of his beanbags to the recesses of one of his deepest pockets to keep his hands free. He tried to calm the butterflies in his stomach, reminding himself that Darkwing was not likely to appear. there would be no cloud of smoke with a startling simile and a lot of quack-fu pain. If there was, he had Celeste to back him up, anyway. And she had said he was smart. He glowed a little.  
  
"Thanks for the compliment. I don't get them often, but I've just gotten two in the same hour." he commented dryly. He smiled, showing his teeth, and said, reassuringly, "Good luck, Celeste. Don't feel too bad if we get caught; I'll get us out again. And with your Dad's influence. well. I'm sure that you're a natural. You look confident enough to me." he added  
  
Quackerjack sat down next to the wall, staring at it with childish intensity for a full minute. "Alright. This looks pretty strong.they must've fixed it properly since the last time. I'd say a couple is all it'd take, though." He muttered vaguely to himself, his hand diving into a pocket and his mind completely focused on the task at hand. "Good thing I keep so much junk kicking around in here.Aha! Here we go." He withdrew several jacks, holding them gingerly as  
  
though they might explode at any second. His sadistic smile said that they would, as well as his next urgent warning; "Stand well clear, Celi- um.Celeste." He mumbled.  
  
He waited for a few seconds for her to comply, skipped back a couple of steps himself, and then hurled the jacks at the wall. It promptly exploded into a huge gaping hole, and the force caused gray smoke to billow around the scene, making QJ choke. "Yep, they reinforced it  
  
since the last time." he gagged, sarcasm heavy in his voice."Subtle?" Quackerjack coughed, recovering quickly, "No. Fun? Yes." he chuckled evilly. "Come on, they'll be organized in a couple'a minutes, unless they're on their donut break." He urged, jumping forward into the smoke and trusting her to follow. "Let's wreak some mayhem! It's Playyyytime!!"  
  
*** Well I'm not crazy I'm just a little unwell I know right now you can't tell But stay a while and maybe then you'll see A different side of me I'm not crazy I'm just a little impaired I know, right now you don't care But soon enough you're gonna think of me And how I used to be  
  
I've been talkin in my sleep Pretty soon they'll come to get me Yeah, they're takin' me away  
  
Well I'm not crazy I'm just a little unwell I know right now you can't tell But stay a while and maybe then you'll see A different side of me I'm not crazy I'm just a little impaired I know, right now you don't care But soon enough you're gonna think of me And how I used to be Yeah, How I used to be How I used to be, yeah Well I'm just a little unwell How I used to be (A little unwell) How I used to be I'm just a little unwell 


	2. The City Goes to The Villains

Chapter 2:  
The City Goes to The Villains  
  
I don't give a damn 'bout my reputation You're living in the past it's a new generation A girl can do what she wants to do and that's What I'm gonna do An' I don't give a damn ' bout my bad reputation  
  
Oh no, not me  
  
An' I don't give a damn 'bout my reputation Never said I wanted to improve my stature An' I'm only feelin' good When I'm havin' fun When I don't have to please no one An' I don't give a damn 'Bout my bad reputation  
  
Oh no, not me Oh no, not me  
  
* * * Celeste gulped slightly at his comment about being caught. She didn't exactly think her dad would enjoy bailing her out of prison. Again. She nervously fingered the red cel phone in one pocket, wondering if she should call him and give him a head's up on her idea first but by then Quackerjack had already blown up the wall to the police department and it was a little late for second thoughts.  
  
With a big grin on his face, Steelbeak parked the black Jaguar at the side of the rode. With Victoria by his side, he came striding over to Quackerjack and Celeste and couldn't wait to tell them the good news.  
  
"Say 'ello to de new mayor!" He said with pride, draping an arm around Victoria. He could hardly contain his excitement. "Let's jus' say fer t'ree million dollars, I kinda talked ol' Mayor Merganser into retirement ta let da big boid - - ME - - in!"  
  
"And now, offically, the city belongs to the villains!" Victoria added with an evil grin. "There's nothing that even that Darkwing Duck could do now."  
  
"Or de police!" Steelbeak chuckled. "After all, it was a gentlemanly takeover. I didn't feel like 'aving dat old duck's blood all over dis jacket. It's just been drycleaned, ya know."  
  
She sighed in relief as she saw that Steele and Victoria had arrived. Ok, at least they had reinforments. She dug out a stick of dynomite and followed QJ in, hoping up on the cheif's desk and glaring menacingly at him "Hand over the keys to the jail cells or we'll blow this place skyhigh, got it?" She smirked as the wimp actually did as he was told without question and tossed the keys to Quackerjack. "Have fun! It's early parole city wide!" She snickered as a large pair of toy teeth chased a couple of lieutenants past her and popped out her cell phone, dialing the number for her father's . hopefully he hadn't left it in the hideout or the  
  
troublemaker, she couldn't wait to tell him the news. No answer.  
  
* * *  
  
The bay area by the waterfront of St. Canard swished back and forth unnaturally, lapping at the wooden docks and creating mountainous waves that crashed onto the shore. One wave, in particular, lunged at a large fishing vessel and collaspsed onto the barnacle-infested deck. Slowly the wave began to take form, and congealed into the shape of a slender dog propped on his hind legs. The watery creature sleezed across the battered deck, and slurped out onto the dock, then looked around. No one.  
  
The Liquidator shook a few loose stands of seaweed from inside his watery dangling ears, then plucked a fish out of his chest that had been swimming around oblivious, and tossed it back into the bay.  
  
"Danged freeloading cod!" he snorted as he spun himself in a circle to be rid of any other unwanted organisms that might be inhabiting his liquid- like body. A few seashells flew out and landed on the dock, as did an old logger boot, a coco cola can, and a few candy bar wrappers. "Citizens of St. Canard need to learn a little respect for their water, how would they like it if they didn't have ANY for a while!!" then suddenly, he was struck with an idea. Why NOT deprive St. Canard of their water? And why not charge them astronomical fees to regain it? It only seemed fair considering how much they were taking it for granted.  
  
"Parched? Need a sip to wet your whistle? Well, bring your life savings and retirement pensions to...me....at the Liquidator's Wholesale Water Warehouse where YOU can purchase an ounce of water for the ridiculously low price of $10,000!!!" He shouted out in his sing-song advertising announcer's voice. "Yes! I like it!" he confirmed nodding his head in approval, "now, to divulge my brillant plan to the others, maybe I'll give them a discount," he gafawed as he slipped down the docks and hoped in a beat up mustang convertible by the pier. "Not exactly Steve Mcquack's Mustang Bullitt, but it'll do!" he laughed as he floored the stolen car's clutch and sped out to search for the others.  
  
* * *  
  
Meanwhile Negaduck, former Lord of the Negaverse was idlly speeding around the bad Part of Town looking for trouble, or more appropriately the chance to cause some. He frowned as he noted a large gang of looters breaking into a jewelry store in broad day light. Not that he really cared but where were the cops? And why were there suddenly so many crooks running around openly on the streets? he flicked his radio on and caught the tailend of a frantic officer who was babbling that Quackerjack had taken over the police station.  
  
"What's that idiot up to now," Negaduck growled and made a tight hairpin turn, flooring the gas pedal and zipping back in the direction of the police station. None of the fearsome Five should have been pulling capers without his permission and it sounded like the clown was in need of a reminder concerning that rule.  
  
* * *  
  
Carried by a large fir tree, Bushroot moved through the city, commanding plants in other nurseries, and in shopping mall plant stores to break loose and join him. In turn he ordered those plants to free other plants. As this was going on, he began to think about what he could do to contribute to taking over the city. He had already received a telepathic message that Quackerjack was thinking of taking over the police station, so that was out. So he was on his way to regroup with the others and found out their future plans.  
  
Megavolt was peacefully minding his own business, unaware of the possibility of danger, clinging to the top of a street lamp and talking to the lightbulb at the end of it. It was daytime, so the light was currently not lit. "Come on, boy, I know you're sleepy but I'm offering you a chance at freedom! Freedom to shine when you please!"  
  
The bulb didn't do anything.  
  
"Gasp! You have been among the downtrodden so long, you are no longer capable of making decisions for yourself!" said Megavolt, horrified. He suddenly giggled maniacally. "Oh well, I guess I'll have to make the decision for you. Now hold still, this won't hurt a bit...." He reached out his gloved hand to unscrew the bulb.  
  
Suddenly tremors began to travel up the metal pole. It vibrated, causing Megavolt's teeth to chatter. "Wha-wha-wha-wha-WHAT is do-do-doing that?" he exclaimed. He looked down, thinking that someone must be kicking the base of the pole, but there was nothing. And no wonder--everybody who lived on this particular street corner had discretely moved indoors when he had shown up on their block.  
  
So there was no one there. Then what was making the pole shake? Megavolt would have scratched his head, but he was holding onto the pole. "St. Canard doesn't get earthquakes! I'll bet that stupid Moliarty is messing around under the city again, trying to defeat us surface-dwellers and bring his mole brethren to power. Grr! Those revolutionary types and their stupid causes!" He started to extend his hand to the light bulb again. "Isn't that right, my little bulby-  
  
wulby?"  
  
A bunch of bushes rounded the corner and came charging up the street that Megavolt was on. Hearing the rattle of their leaves, Megavolt looked over his shoulder and squawked in surprise. He gripped tightly onto the pole as the beginning of what appeared to be an army of flora galloped by. "What the H--"  
  
Just then the branch of a large rampaging tree smacked his pole so hard that Megavolt was flung loose."AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!" he yelled as he sailed through the air, expressing much the same sentiment that anyone else would under similar circumstances.  
  
* * *  
  
The announcer's voice was instantly recognizable to the Mayor/High Commander with the staccato laugh. He snapped his fingers and grinned widely at him. The Liquidator was one more villain to have on the team,and a extremely efficent one at that. Nearly invincible and undefeatable, he was perhaps the most powerful villain in the city, and Steelbeak took  
  
advantage of this.  
  
"Hey-a Licky!" He shouted, leaning his head out of the police station window and punching out an officer inthe face as he tried to restrain him. "Guess who's decity's mayor?! ME! Youse sure picked a good time ta show up 'cause de city's goin' to de villains!"  
  
"Hoo-hoo-hoo, I haven't had so much fun since Sunday School!!" Quackerjack crowed. "The gang's nearly all back! Hey, Licky, I'd give you a noogie, but I don't wanna get soaked." he joked, continuing with vigor, "This is so great! Now all we need is Sparky and we'll be  
  
all set for the complete takeover of St. Canard!!" As he spoke, Quackerjack was scurrying around and unlocking cells. He finished up a second later. "But we'll need a new name, of course. Let's see here. Steelbeak, Celeste, Victoria, Licky, Bushy, Megavolt, Negaduck, and me. I'm not forgetting anyone.? The Evil Eight. the Insidious Eight? Ah, doesn't matter to me. The world will be ours in a matter of hours, anyway!" He chuckled, putting a friendly arm around Celeste. "What do you say, Steel? Let's go for global domination!!"  
  
"Hrrrrm...I like de sounds of de Evil Eight," mused Steelbeak, polishing his beak and holding Victoria in a secure snuggle. "Rolls off de tongue! What about you, Victoria?"  
  
"I love it..." Victoria cooed, leaning into the arms of her handsome husband. "As for our next 'stop', how about Duckburg? You know, last night...Steelbeak and I were talking about going there next while we were -- "  
  
Steelbeak interrupted the rest of her sentence with a laugh. "Dat's my 'Tori! So ambitious!"  
  
"Yes, and please spare us the details of your more intimate moments," the Liquidator nearly gagged, thinking of the possible endings to Victoria's sentence, then not wanting to dwell of such thoughts, he blurted, "say, how about the Eleatic Eight? You know, of or relating to a school of Greek philosophers founded by Parmenides and developed by Zeno and marked by belief in the unity of being and the unreality of motion or change?" then seeing the blank and disturbed stares on everyone's faces, he shrugged and looked at the ground, "or....the Evil Eight is fine I suppose, if we have to limit our usage acceptable alliterations," he mumbled to himself as he  
  
kicked one of QuackerJack's toys that had fallen out of his Satchel, only managing to drench it to the point of total saturation.  
  
"Well I for one am off to do some shopping," Victoria smirked, winking at Steelbeak in a secretive way that made a hard lump form in Cel's stomach but she dismissed it as the dark haired woman left. She had too many problems to deal with as it was.  
  
Just then there was a long unbroken scream overhead.  
  
"...AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA--"  
  
The source of the scream hit the ground--but not before splashing through the Liquidator. There was the loud sound of something frying as the Liquidator and the new arrival were suddenly obscured by a mad blue crackle of electricity.  
  
Megavolt lay in a sodden lump on the ground, his soaked body still crackling. He raised his head shakily. "Just dropping in...." he managed before his head fell back again with thump.  
  
He must be a real hit at parties." Commented Quackerjack, looking at Megavolt in amusement. "He steals the show every time." He caught Celeste's glance and chuckled. "Don't worry. Sparky does this kind of thing all the time. He's bouncy; he'll recover in a minute." He explained. He stuck his hands in his pockets and was silent for a moment. "I'm glad we're back together again, though. It's sort of like a reunion." He said. He walked over to Megavolt. "Hey, Sparky!!  
  
Sppparrrkkky!" He called, right next to Megavolt, "St. Canard to Megavolt!" He stood up again and cast a troubled glance at Steelbeak. "Any ideas?"  
  
"Um, add sugar?" suggested Megavolt. He was still a little dazed from his unexpected "flight".  
  
"Hiya, Sparky," Celeste teased. She had no doubt that Megavolt would take offense at a girl he didn't know calling him that but it was too good of a chance to pass up. She winked at Quackerjack before helping Megavolt to his feet, leaving her cell phone on the desk still ringing. "One more member and we'll be the Nasty Nine or something..."her face fell slightly, thinking of her father and wishing he were there. And then there was the matter of Darkwing ofcourse. .she'd been to excited over the idea of being part of the group to really consider it but now she felt more than a little sorry for causing him so much trouble. She hoped he wouldn't get hurt.  
  
With a smirk, Steelbeak gave the shocked rodent-like animal a swift kick to the butt.  
  
"Time ta get up and get yer rear in gear!" He shouted.Just as his foot made contact with the said rodent'sbottom, he felt a shock and jumped back in surprise.  
  
"Yikes! I forgot about dat..." He muttered. "Anyways,Megs, are yas up ta takin' over de power station?" He nodded to Bushroot as the last member of the Four arrived and stood silently next to The Liquidator, fidgeting and too nervous to speak up and request an update on the scheme's status.  
  
"Hold up a minute, you guys," Celeste commented, her brow creased in worry and she jumped slightly, getting a shock from Megavolt who she was still trying to hold up. "I mean, I kinda got wrapped up in the moment and all and this has been a blast but..the entire WORLD? I mean that's really big and I'm not much on being a leader...what if someone gets hurt? Megavolt's already shorted out, taking this much further's gonna be even more risky and I mean..we..we're not gonna kill anyone or anything, right?" She swallowed hard. As much as she wanted to be like her father she just wasn't the type of person who liked seeing others in pain and she was getting a decidedly bad feeling about this.  
  
"Awww yer no fun, Celeste!" Steelbeak moaned immaturely. He was then sharply elbowed by his wife and he quickly apologized to the girl.  
  
"Erm...Well...Lets see what we's can do wit' takin'over St. Canard. I mean, I've partially done dat myself. I am a High Commander, after all. I's gotissues wit' killin', so youse don't 'afta worry 'boutme wipin' out neighbourhoods."  
  
Yeah, and I don't kill people, I just tend to murderize 'em a little," said Megavolt, who was now standing with Celeste's assistance. He looked down at the teenage brown duckling with a  
  
furrowed brow. "Thanks. Um, who are you?"  
  
"Name's Celeste." She started to shake his hand then thought of the shock she'd gotten early and just offered him a small smile.  
  
"What's the grouchiness all of a sudden?" Quackerjack asked, genuinely confused. "What're a few civilians? It's their fault for getting in the way- " he stopped, realizing that a good amount of the others didn't share his feelings. "Licky?" he implored the only other one whom hadn't voiced his opinion. When no answer was forthcoming, he sighed. "Alright, alright. No killing." He said, regretfully. "You guys are such killjoys." He complained, "Steelbeak, I expected better of you, for sure." He crossed his arms, looking disappointed, "Things have to give way for conquest. One needs a certain aggressiveness." He stopped again. "Fine." He relented slightly, "But I'm not sure Negaduck'll want to take over without casualties." He warned.  
  
At the mention of Negaduck Licky leaned over to Quackerjack and whispered, "ah...so who's wearing the pants in this operation?" and before Quackerjack could make a snide comment, he added, "and bloomers, my fine feathered friend, don't count," he grinned, then with an air of nervousness he said sternly, "does Negaduck know about this?"  
  
Quackerjack giggled at the Liquidator's clever comment, then replied quietly, "It was Steelbeak's idea; he's running this operation, formally known as The Evil Eight. This little girl here, Celeste, is related to Negaduck, though, so watch the sales pitch, alright?" he warned, "And no, so far our wonderful and omnipotent leader, may his name cause nosebleeds, has yet to find out. If he doesn't like what we're doing, then we're toast." Quackerjack was suddenly worried himself. "And me with no Bushy for a living shield."  
  
Megavolt blinked. "Hey, I didn't even know all about this until a few minutes ago.Maybe someone told me and I forgot?" He scratched his head thoughtfully. "Where the heck is Negaduck, anyway?"  
  
There was a loud 'crash!' as the door was suddenly kicked open, the masked and caped mallard standing in the doorframe with a none-too- content expression on his face.  
  
"Eep!" was what finally emerged from Megavolt's mouth.  
  
"Oohhh what's the matter, Megavolt? Did you miss me already...?" Negaduck hissed, his eyes narrowed into an intense scowl. The words dripped from his bill sarcastically as if venom.  
  
"Um, no? I mean--yes! I mean, uh, uh--" Megavolt scrambled a few seconds for the right response and finally gave up with a look of pathetic resignation. Even Steelbeak, who was no where in sight, had the sense not to try and reason with the boss when he was in THIS kind of mood. "That's ok, boss, no need to kill me, I'll do it myself," he said, turning around and starting to bang his head against the wall.  
  
Celeste for her part froze at the familiar low, growling voice that made her spirits soar and nearly knocked Negaduck off his feet as he entered with the force of her tacklish hug. "Hey, I was wondering when you'd show up.."  
  
"Celeste?! What in Hell are you...." he started in shock, then his voice trailed off as his eyes narrowed.  
  
Her expression dampened at the look in his midnight blue eyes as his face went from shock at finding her in such company when she should have been at home to slowly building anger.She disengaged herself from the hug, backing up a few steps and hanging her head with a quiet whisper,"I'm sorry..." It broke her heart in half to think she'd caused the most important person in the world to her any trouble when all she longed to do was make him proud of her.  
  
Quackerjack gulped, looking from Celeste to Negaduck and back, then glanced over at Megavolt. The situation had just become hazardous to his health. He considered his own response, something along the lines of 'I missed you, yes, I did indeed, please don't dismember me.' He decided that it didn't sound very encouraging to his own survival, and then walked over to the wall himself. "Don't hog the whole wall!" he ordered Megavolt, giving him a friendly shove, "I wanna kill myself too, it's a lot less painful that way."  
  
"Hey!" squawked Megavolt. "You could have just picked a different wall." Suddenly he got a clever idea. "Hey, there's a chair over there, I'll bet if I smashed myself over the head with that I'd pass out pretty quick, and then you could be a pal and finish me off, right Quackerjack?" He plastered a suck-up grin on his face and made a thumbs-up gesture to Negaduck to show that the situation was under control and he and Quackerjack could suicide just fine on their own. Then, thinking of something else, "Oh, and then I can do the same for you if you want," he offered Quackerjack generously.  
  
At the scene taking place before him, Negaduck raised an eyebrow at his two comrades. Looking down at Celeste, he saw her disappointed expression, but his face still remained stern. He then turned his head back up, glaring in the direction of Megavolt and Quackerjack. Stepping forward, he reached out and gently moved Celeste aside and behind him, moving towards the other two angrily.  
  
"Now now boys..." Negaduck suddenly spoke in a strangely sweet, calm voice as hestopped right behind them, standing between the two, "Don't beat yourselves up over this..." he said, grinning smoothly while slowly reaching up and placing a hand on the back of each of their heads, "...LET ME DO IT!!" he roared, thrusting his hands towards each other and causing Megavolt's and Quackerjack's heads to come crashing together with a hollow 'thunk!'  
  
"So what's this I hear about an 'Evil Eight' or something that I was not informed about?!" Negaduck raged as he stepped back to face the two other villains impatiently, crossing his arms in front of him and an angry scowl on his face as he picked up on what seemed to be one of the crutial parts of the coversation he'd overheard before his entrance.  
  
"Ow!" Quackerjack squawked piercingly, falling back with a whimper. "Who knew you had such a hard head?" He grumped at Megavolt, rubbing a new lump on his own and looking at Negaduck resentfully. "We can't keep you posted on everything, you-err-oh benevolent and wonderful master, he who holds our lives in the palm of his hand!" he amended hastily, realizing that he had just decreased his chances of getting out of the whole mess alive by several points. "I, I mean. you were in the plan, boss, you were always in it! We only make seven without you, and it couldn't be the Evil Seven, you know, it'd mess up the alliteration..." He stuttered.  
  
He glanced at Megavolt again, then foraged on boldly. "We never dreamed of cutting you out of the deal, oh wondrous and extremely intimidating Lord Negaduck!" `I only hoped'. He thought to himself darkly. Keeping a goofy smile fixed on his face, he added, "I was just helping Celeste here with her Villain Techniques." He looked at Celeste beseechingly, silently begging her to credit his story.  
  
"Uh.." Celeste sighed, already in trouble she knew but she couldn't let her only friend get canned for her mistake. She slipped over and helped him up, standing slightly infront of Quackerjack protectively, "Um, right...well, see it's like this, I was walking home from school and I ran into Steelbeak and Quackerjack and they started talking about taking over the city so I thought it'd be a good chance to impress you and I.." she hung her head "I'm sorry, Dad, I didn't mean to let you down." Large tears welled in her eyes and ran down her cheeks as she studied the floor guiltily.  
  
Quackerjack blinked, his frantic thoughts for survival warring with sympathy at poor Celeste. Sympathy won out, though looking back on it a few months later; Quacky couldn't possibly have said what he was thinking at the time, doing what he did next. Maybe he just didn't like seeing people sad, or maybe he didn't consider himself a fair-weather friend to her. Or maybe ever then he was starting to fall in love with her.  
  
He put a hand on Celeste's shoulder and looked straight at Negaduck, imagining all sorts of pain at what he would say next. He opened his beak. "It.ah. it was my fault, actually. I kinda.forced the kid. you know, to come with us. It was entirely my fault.. All the way. Uh." he closed his eyes tightly, trying to find something else to say to further lift the blame from Celeste and coming up empty. For a second, he wondered what Mr. Banana Brain would have said, had he been present. He mentally shrugged and kept going, improvising. "So.go easy on her, huh? She didn't do anything wrong.she only wanted to make you happy and kinda got swept up in all this mess." he trailed off until he was silent, dropping his own gaze to the floor.  
  
His hand still raised in the air with his finger pointed at them, Negaduck's eyes went wide and his bottom jaw dropped, not believing what he had just heard. He stared at Quackerjack in pure shock, not expecting this kind of behavior from the usual loony that he was.  
  
"You mean...did you just say...?" Negaduck asked in amazement. He suddenly doubled over, breaking out into a fit of laughter, "YOU, Quackers?? Did YOU just say all of that? HA!"  
  
Celeste blinked in surprise but couldn't fight down the smile that lit up her face at Quackerjack's words and threw her arms around his neck in a hug. He really did like her! "Aw, Quacky, gee you don't have to cover for me, but that was so sweet of you. " She smirked slightly,"Not that he'd buy it. Dad knows I'm too much of a stuborn pain in the tailfeathers to be forced into anything I don't wanna do, but still yer an angel," she smiled and kissed his cheek through his harliquin hat.  
  
Quackerjack froze and smiled slightly, thinking maybe that one little peck on the cheek made it all worth it.  
  
The maniacal laughter was suddenly stopped short when Negaduck witnessed the scene between Quackerjack and Celeste. His eyes narrowed as he clenched his fists, growling lowly. For some reason, it seemed to strike a sensative nerve inside him.  
  
Megavolt, who had all the sensitivity and perception of a crazy electrocuted rodent-thing, glanced back and forth between Quackerjack and Celeste and decided to throw his two cents in. "Yeah, boss, it's just like QJ says. It isn't the kid's fault, it's his. He made her get involved. Yeah, and he made me get involved too. Please boss, it isn't my fault either, Quackerjack took advantage of me. My idealism, my youthful vulnerability, my need to impress you...."  
  
Megavolt threw his arm up in front of his face as if to hide tears, sniffling and peeking over his elbow to see how Negaduck would respond.  
  
"Enough!!" Negaduck suddenly roared, clearly agitated. He stormed forward, placing himself between Celeste and Quackerjack, scowling at the other two supervillains. When he spoke, it was in a low growl that seemed to cut right through them. "You knobs get this mess cleaned up and prepare for some seriously PAINFUL punishment when I come back tonight." With that said and without waiting for a reply, Negaduck turned and began to storm towards the door, "Let's go..." he growled to Celeste as he passed by her, not bothering to turn back to see is she was following him, because he knew that she would be.  
  
Once back outside, he jumped onto the Troublemaker and revved the engine loudly, waiting for Celeste to climb on behind him before giving it gas and speeding away.  
  
Celeste followed him out , passing a glanced at Quackerjack with a grimace and mouthed "sorry" before she climbed on the Troublemaker timidly , silent the entire ride back to the warehouse.After he parked she slid off and made as quickly as possible for the stairs and her room. She was attempting to make it up there before the yelling started..maybe if she willingly disconnected her internet and cable and handed over he CD player after nailing shut her window he'd spare her a screaming lecture.  
  
"HOLD IT!!....right there, little lady..." Negaduck growled, pointing up the stairs at her. When Celeste turned around to face him, he wagged his index finger at her, summoning her to come to him.  
  
Celeste gulped and slowly with her gaze dropped walked over to him, nervously fingering the cross necklace he'd given her for her birthday that had been her grandmother's. She walked like a prisoner marching down death row as she stopped infront of him, her shoulders slumped.  
  
"Now then, since I know we both don't like these sort of confrontational situations, I'll cut right to the chase...JUST WHAT DID YOU THINK YOU WERE DOING?? Haven't I specifically told you to STAY AWAY from the rest of the Fearsome Five?? Those guys aren't exactly what I would call 'stable', or 'sane'!" Negaduck exclaimed, his hands visibly trembling as he spoke,. Not that he was particularly one to talk but that was beside the point. "You could have gotten yourself into some deep gunpowder with them! Caught by the police, apprehended by that Dimwing Dork, or hurt...!"  
  
Celeste bit her lip as she looked up at him, "I'm sorry..I was just...the way they were talking I thought it'd be something I could do to make you proud and I don't have any friends so I guess I thought...well..Quackerjack was really nice to me and I liked hanging out with him. He didn't treat me like some freak or little brat or anything..." she lowered her gaze and sighed as her bottom lip quivered,"I just get lonely sometimes when you're not around...all the kids at school hate me..they call me "Celeste the Pest" and the teachers think I'm like deranged or something.." She sighed heavily, slumping onto the worn couch and lacing her fingers in her lap as a tear ran down one cheek, "I'm sorry I let you down and worried you, that's the last thing I wanted to do...sometimes I feel like I'm just..so much trouble for you that you'd be better off if I was still in the orphanage or the Negaverse..." She shook her head, tears in her large hazel eyes  
  
Hearing this, and seeing her forlorn gaze, Negaduck's growl trailed off, his eyes slowly softening at what Celeste had said. Was he being too hard on her? He didn't want to think so, being the hard-headed felon he was. But something still chewed at him like a rabid hyena  
  
After a moment of silence, he finally spoke up, no longer in his angry tone, but still in a deep, sincere voice, "So...that's what this is all about, is it? You wanted to make me proud of you?" Negaduck asked, slowly moving towards the old couch and stopping in front of it, staring down at Celeste with his unmoving eyes.  
  
"Look, kiddo...you don't have to go out and risk your life by doing something foolish just to make me proud of you. That's one of the LAST things I'd want to see you do, because it would be such a waste...you make me proud of you every day; just by staying strong and not letting this pathetic, cruel world beat you down..." he spilled out the words in a quiet voice, then mustered a slight, soft smile at her.  
  
"R-really?" she asked, lifting her gaze to his face and at his smile her face lit up before she threw her arms around his waist and hugged him.Then seeing as she already had him as softened up as he ever was, she added slowly, giving him her most adorable, pleading look," Does...that mean I can still hang out with Quackerjack now and then? He did stand up for me.." She trailed off, looking at him hopefully with her bright eyes, biting her lower lip. She didn't add that she'd not only grown very fond of the jester duck as a friend but that she thought he was pretty darn cute too. Afterall, she knew her sweet face only stretched so far and the knowledge that she had a crush on one of his associates would only serve to raise his hackles again.  
  
Negaduck cringed at her request. She was interested in QUACKERJACK?? Of all people, of all the members of the Fearsome Five, she likes hanging around with HIM? Or was she up to something?  
  
"YOU like hanging around with that buck-toothed loony??" he asked in bewilderment. But then seeing that she was serious, he rolled his eyes, "I'll think about it...that's the only answer you're getting for that right now," he finally answered, a bit hesitantly. Then, he looked down at her, his expression suddenly changing.  
  
"Now...about your punishment for even considering such an idea before..." Negaduck growled with a menacing grin on his face, "I think a grounding for a week should be harsh enough..." he added, then noticing the shocked expression on Celeste's face, "What? You didn't think I was just gonna let you get away clean, did you?"  
  
"No, Sir.." she replied glumly but nodded her acknowledgement before trudging toward her room. Hit with a sudden inspiration, she glanced to make sure he wasn't looking then made a quick detour to the garage and ducked into the sidecar of the Troublemaker, squeezing herself down and out of sight. Negs had told the Fearsome Four he'd be meeting up with them later...this was her chance to set things right. She'd stowaway and wait for the opportunity to prove her skills...plus she'd get to see Quacky again. She blushed slightly at the thought and smiled, settling down to wait.  
  
* * *  
  
I don't give a damn 'Bout my reputation I've never been afraid of any deviation An' I don't really care If I'm strange I ain't gonna change An' I'm never gonna care 'Bout my bad reputation  
  
Oh no, not me Oh no, not me  
  
Break it down!  
  
An' I don't give a damn 'Bout my reputation The world's in trouble There's no communication An' everyone can say What they want to say It never gets better anyway So why should I care 'Bout a bad reputation, anyway Oh no, not me Oh no, not me Oh no, Not Me, oh no, not me 


	3. Defiance, Thy Name is Celeste

Chapter 3:  
Defiance, Thy Name is Celeste  
  
How can you see into my eyes like open doors? Leading you down into my core Where Ive become so numb  
  
Without a soul My spirit's sleeping somewhere cold Until you find it there and lead it back home  
  
-CHORUS- [wake me up] Wake me up inside [I cant wake up] Wake me up inside [Save me] Call my name and save me from the dark [Wake me up] Bid my blood to run [I cant wake up] Before I come undone [Save me] Save me from the nothing Ive become  
  
Now that I know what Im without You cant just leave me Breathe into me and {make me real} Bring me To life  
  
* * * Back at the hideout, after sadly watching Celeste go and mouthing back, `good luck,' and adding a little wave, Quackerjack started sorting his muddled thoughts. He looked from Megavolt to the Liquidator, then to Bushroot, amazed that he hadn't been the victim of any type of physical attack. He could hardly believe that he wasn't sprawled on the floor, hurting in several places. But he felt that he'd lost something better in the wake of his good fortune; namely, a new best friend. Obviously Negaduck didn't want him to be a playmate with his daughter, and if he valued his health, he'd have to try to avoid her.His eyes downcast, he sighed. "He didn't buy it." He said, pointing out the obvious, but not seeming to care. "Gee, Licky, I guess I really am a bad liar."  
  
"Census says....YES!!! You hit the nail on the head, you hit the jackpot, you've run the corner too quickly, you've..." Licky looked at his less than cheerful companion, "what's with you!?" he accused not liking to see a fellow vilain down, it showed weakness.  
  
For once, the normally cheerful jester looked depressed. "It isn't like I'd hurt her, or anything. Negaduck's our undisputed boss, after all." he looked up, suddenly alarmed. "Hey, what are we gonna tell Steelbeak about all this? He'll think we're double-crossing him!"  
  
"What are WE going to tell him? Oh no, I just got here jingle boy, I had nothing to do with this, you dug your own worm hole by hangin' with that Foul peice of chicken. I bet he's not even Kosher!" Licky exploded not wanting to be held responsible for something he actually wasn't guilty of this time.  
  
Quackerjack's random train of thought suddenly remembered what had taken place a few minutes earlier, and he jumped back to that line of discussion without a pause."You guys tried to get me in even deeper trouble!" he said accusingly, pointing at Megavolt and Liquidator. "Traitors." He mumbled angrily, "I'm having a bad day already, so don't mess with me." His attempt to be threatening was somewhat ruined by the out-of-place merry jingling of his bells as he stomped over to a chair and sat down, pulling out a piece of string and attempting to play cat's cradle with it.  
  
Licky gave Quackerjack a look of 'gimme a break, are you kidding?' then shook his head. "Speaking of bad days, that little girl didn't seem too chipper, who is she? And what is she doing with Negaduck? I tell you, a guy goes on a brief vacation to cause chaos and mahem in the seven seas, and then all hell breaks loose!"  
  
Quackerjack made a pathetic attempt to ignore the Liquidator, still riled at him, until he finally ground his teeth together, exasperated, and scrunched up the string. He tossed it away, and his eyes narrowed as he stood up."She's the only person in the world who's never looked at me funny!" he burst out melodramatically, "The only person who could ever understand me! She's like the childhood buddy that I never had." He took a deep breath.  
  
"But Negaduck's being a sourpuss. He's her dad," Quackerjack looked at the Liquidator quickly, and remembered his promise not to tell anyone that she was adopted, "Her name's Celeste, by the way." He added, as though the last part was unimportant. "She hates being called Brownie."  
  
He sighed deeply, then nodded to himself. "We probably should just let Negaduck deal with Steelbeak. I've had enough of being the scapegoat for one day." He dismissed that notion, adding, "Speaking of Negaduck.we need to hurry up and do what he said if we don't want barbecued behinds. Not that that's a problem for you." he looked at the Liquidator critically.  
  
"Yes...Yes...Let Negaduck deal wit' me..." Steelbeak spoke ominiously, creeping around the corner as if he's appeared out of thin air. He'd been listening the entire time since Negaduck's arrival and departure. His cocky confidence was more than just obvious -- it was in-the-face bold. "I ain't afraid of 'im. I'm public enemy numero uno, after all, or was, until dat no- good Javert took over my position. Like it or not, until I get my job back, Victoria and I are gonna be yer new leaders."  
  
He held a cold stare to everyone, circling them with an aggressive posture.  
  
"Anyone got a problem wit' dat?"  
  
"Err, I...um...well...that is... I don't...not really..." Quackerjack's voice raised several octaves, and he found himself unable to complete any of his sentences. "I mean... you see..." The most he seemed to be able to manage was two words at a time, none relevant to each other. He glanced around frantically at his teammates for some sort of plan. Attack or back down? They'd really be in trouble if Negaduck found out they were obeying two bosses. "Well, there's this... thing... you know..." he stuttered, stopping again. Finally, he cleared his throat and found words that he could verbalize. "If we followed your orders instead of Negaduck's, he'd kill us." He explained matter-of-factly, "And I'm much too young at heart to die. And Negaduck has access to all kinds of horrible torture devices, and we--" he stopped again, backing up a few steps. "Uh, Licky, need a plan..." he whispered urgently out of the corner of his bill, "What do we do??"  
  
"Do nothing!" Spat Steelbeak, jumping in between Quackerjack and The Liquidator. He chumly draped his arms around the shoulders of the two fellow villains and grinned wickedly. "Stick wit' me, and youse will never fail again!"  
  
There was a wild, feral gleam in his silvery eyes as he spoke in a slow, triamphant voice. His mind wasdangerously bordering on insanity and at the slightestprovokation, he would snap and become dangerously violent.  
  
"Negaduck views youse guys as nothin' but knobs.Acessories, in other woids. Now, me, on de other 'and,view youse guys as classy criminals who are smarterden what Negaduck gives credit fer."  
  
Quackerjack swallowed, feeling slightly as though his personal space had just been violated. Carefully, he slid himself out from under Steelbeak's friendly-but-forced hug and took a single, slow step away, putting some distance in between him and the rooster, showing his teeth in a fake smile and keeping his hands free.He sensed that something was wrong with the situation...very wrong. And he wanted out. His mind was screeching to run, to attack, to do anything but stand there and be defenseless  
  
"Well, that's nice of you." Quackerjack said nervously, wondering about how best to approach this situation and taking another step away, trying to stay well out of reach in case Steelbeak tried to lunge at him. The rest of the Fearsome Five would have to watch out for themselves; he couldn't warn them without tipping Steelbeak off that he knew something weird was up. It was every villain for himself. "Do we have a choice in the matter?" he inquired, in a carefully cultivated `be-polite-to-the-psycho-on-pain-of- death' voice.  
  
"Quackerjack, my friend, youse 'ave nothin' ta worry about!" Steelbeak suavely ensured, not letting his eyes off of the villain in case he 'tried something funny'. "But I'm afraid youse guys also 'ave no choice..." He said in a mock-sad voice. Right about then, his cellphone rang.  
  
"'Ello?" He asked hurriedly, continuing to keep his eyes on the other villains. "Who's dis?"  
  
"It's me, Victoria..."  
  
"Aww, Tori...My darlin'. How are youse an' Tatiana doin'?"  
  
"Very well, thank you!" Replied Victoria. "Have you taken over the Fearsome Five yet?"  
  
"Great to hear it, baby cakes! I'm in de process of doin' dat right now. Ev'ryt'ing's doin a okay!"  
  
"Awesome! Well, I'll leave ya to it. See ya around, hon!"  
  
"Bye!" Steelbeak answered in a sing song voice, slipping the phone back into his jacket. He circled the 'gang' and growled. "Youse guys try an' do somet'ing funny -- I'll do somet'ing *very* unpleasant."  
  
Bushroot watched all this with growing unease. In fact, he was confused. It was true that Negaduck often disrespected him and the other members of the Five, and Steelbeak's words sounded good to him. It could be the suave rooster would make a better boss than Negaduck. But then there was the rage Negaduck was capable of, and he was capable of anything else as well. Which way to go, he thought...which leader to follow? And underneath, a small part of him wished he had just stayed in his greenhouse with his plants. Things were simpler there.  
  
"Eh-heh, funny? Us? No fear of that, we don't do comedy," said Megavolt, putting up his hands in a defensive gesture and backing away. :Mommy, make the big scary rooster go away!: he thought mentally.  
  
"Good..." Steelbeak growled, pressing his face into Megavolt's. He paced around the Fearsome Five proudly and gestured dramatically as he spoke. Just from reading his body language, one would know that he meant business and it would be dangerous to tangle with him. "I trust ev'ryone 'ere knows who's de boss. Now dat's been settled, it's time fer us ta move on with de fun. Startin' wit were we's were left off! Should either Darking or Negaduck intefere -- we'll take care of 'em my way."  
  
Megavolt was starting to get a little dizzy from all the circling that Steelbeak was doing. Oooh, how he hated it when people couldn't stand still while they talked, how he truly hated it. It threw him off, it left him disoriented, it made him feel nervous and vulnerable. Which, of course, was exactly Steelbeak's intent.  
  
However, in an uncharacteristic instant of focus, Megavolt did know that he had to get away from this miasma of control. Just long enough to get his scattered braincells together, long enough to figure out what to do. "Um, Steelbeak? Don't you think it would be a good idea for us to get some more weapons? I mean--" his tone became flattering, "--I know FOWL already has the big guns and cool vehicles and so on, but I have some really not-so-bad inventions of my own, not to mention the stuff to make more, if I could just go get them."  
  
"Only is youse feel it is necessary..." Steelbeak groaned, rolling his eyes. "And if dey woik. Tacky t'ings are outta de questions, Megs."  
  
Yes. Yes, that would do it. And it wasn't a lie about the weapons--if he did decide that staying with Steelbeak was the right idea, he had any number of great doohickeys and gadgets that would ensure the FOWL agent's pleasure. But right now he had to get away from the warehouse, and away from Steelbeak, just long enough to straighten things out in his head. "Oh, and, um...I know Quackerjack has all kind of great stuff himself. Right, QJ? Weren't you telling me about that new army of titanium alloy soldiers you were working on the other day? And those Accessory Alice dolls with the three different shades of poison lip gloss? We could stop by your place on the way to mine."  
  
"My.what?" Quackerjack blurted, scratching his head. His mind raced. Titanium alloy soldiers? New Accessory Alice dolls?? Was Megavolt losing what was left of his mind, or-in a flash, he understood, and mentally slapped himself."Ooooohhh, yes!!!" he stressed, nodding his head violently up and down so that his bells jangled against his back, "Those. Completely slipped my mind, what with all the excitement." He giggled suddenly, still nodding. "Of course. This wasn't meant to be much of a business trip, so I only brought a few small toys. If you're serious about taking ov-helping- the Fearsome Five, then you'll want us all at our peak, right? I can't do very much without my gewgaws, super-villain-genius that I am." He said, hastening to the door and looking at Megavolt urgently to follow him, all the while thinking regretfully, `Now why didn't I think of that?'  
  
"I want youse back in exactly an hour," Steelbeakordered, takinga quick look at his watch. He was a weebit suspious, but knew if they went off on their own to escape, he would have little trouble in tracking them down.  
  
"Otherwise...I may get a little nasty..."  
  
"Right-e-o Rooster Sir!" Licky clucked gleefully, half in a mocking tone, "shall we boys?" he asked of the others, ready to leave the scene as soon as possible and find out just how much he'd missed.  
  
"YOU'RE NOT GOING ANYWERE!" Steelbeak roared, jumping in front of  
  
The Liquidator. With a deep breath, he returned to his usual calm and suave self.  
  
"Stay 'ere...De boys will be back 'ere soon enough..." He smirked, circling around The Liquidator, his anger once again becoming obvious.  
  
"Were youse...Tryin' to escape? You know how I don't like it when people don't do what I tell 'em to do..."  
  
Megavolt gulped. Steelbeak was scaring him almost more than Negaduck did at this point. "Uh, it's ok, Licky, we'll be back in just an hour. Just like the new boss says, right, new boss? You, um, want us to pick up anything for you while we're out?" Out of the side of his mouth, he hissed, "Quackerjack! Ets-lay amoose-vay."  
  
"Get me a sword, Megavolt. Or a scimitar. Whatevery youse can find an' steal! And get it quick!" Steelbeak snapped, once again pacing around manically. His ever-changing moods was the rooster's worst fault. One could overlook his underbite, his unporpotionally scrawny  
  
legs, but his unpredictablity made him a dangerous foe.  
  
"If youse two are even t'inkin' of going off to escape, I will snap yer scrawny necks!" He screamed, firing his handgun into the ceiling.  
  
"Ep-yay, ight-ray ow-nay, Parky-say!" Quackerjack retorted at Megavolt through clenched teeth. He resisted the urge to grab the electric rodent by his front and forcibly drag him out via the open door.  
  
"And don't worry about a thing, Licky, an hour, that's all it is. Even you can wait for such a short amount of time. Ry-tay ot-nay o-tay et-gay illed- kay?" Quackerjack said directly, looking at the Liquidator and hoping that he understood Pig Latin, and that Steelbeak did not. He turned back to Megavolt, practically hearing his heart thumping a mile a minute.  
  
"Time's a wastin'." He said, forced cheery and taking another step to the door, "We'll just be going, now, no need to do anything drastic, like killing us, them, or the ceiling. You'll have your pointy object complete with handle sooner if you take a couple deep breaths and let us go get it." he suggested, trying to remain calm  
  
Steelbeak raised an eyebrow as Quackerjack spoke such an odd language. It definately wasn't Italian, definately not Greek or Hebrew.With a shrug, he started to calm down a bit and sat down to polish one of his many weapons as the electrical rodent and the duck scurried out.  
  
"Now, Licky, I want youse and Bushroot to stay 'ereand help me plan ta rid dis city of Darkwing Duck for once and for all," Steelbeak spoke calmly, running a comb through his feathers. He took out his FOWL communicator out from his jacket, and in Italiano, he ordered a small pack of deadly- efficently trained Eggmen to spy on Quackerjack and Megavolt.  
  
* * *  
  
"Oh man oh man oh man oh man...." Megavolt started saying once he and Quackerjack had left the warehouse, and then he couldn't stop. "Oh man oh man OHMAN!!" He looked around him nervously, then whispered to Quackerjack raspily, "What the *HECK* have you gotten us into? As if Negaduck wasn't bad enough, now we're saddled with Mr. Bipolar back there? Oh man, I know the microwave told me to beware of the chicken, but I just thought Lester was telling me to watch out for fast food. What the HECK are we gonna do? We're gonna die, we're gonna die, we're gonna die...." he continued in somewhat histrionic fashion.  
  
"Megs, calm down, we're not gonna die!!" Quackerjack whispered fiercely, "Don't make me attempt to hurt you." He grabbed the rodent by his shoulders and shook him. "Take several deep breaths, okay... Several. Your hysteria is catching, and it won't do us much good being out here if we can't put our heads together and figure a way out of this mess. Negaduck always thought us two worked best together."  
  
Megavolt exhaled a deep breath and nodded. Quackerjack was right. That was the whole point Megavolt had wanted him along--their minds naturally worked in sync. "Ok," he said."Ok.You're right. Let's figure this out."  
  
" Now, listen, I had no idea he was crazy. No idea. I only thought blackmailing him into giving me some money because I knew he stole that diamond was a good plan, and it kinda evolved into something much worse. Apparently, Mr. KFC in there has decided that it's possible to just waltz on in and take over the Fearsome Five. Are we gonna let him get away with that?? Well??"  
  
"No way!" growled Megavolt, glancing around as he kept his voice down. "That over-sized canary bird is gonna have another think coming."  
  
Quackerjack went on, "I'm just as afraid of bodily harm as you are, but we have an advantage that our unfortunate teammates in there do not. We're out here." He glanced around, trying to see if the street was empty. Then another thought struck him.  
  
"Oh, no! We have to warn Celeste! If Steelbeak tries to attack Negaduck, she could be in trouble! Ooh, if Licky or Bushbrain hurt her, I'll never forgive them! I'll..." he trailed off and glanced back at Megavolt, embarrassed.  
  
Megavolt raised an eyebrow. "Bushroot? Hurt a little girl? You've gotta be kidding me--Daisy-Brain may be a villain, sure, but he's one of the sweetest dopes too. He'd never be able to bring himself to hurt a kid. And Licky--well. I dunno about Licky. But I'll tell you what, he looks about as happy with the whole Steelbeak situation as we are. I doubt he's going to want to do *anything* that would go along with Steelbeak's plans at this point."  
  
"Okay, okay. Problem at hand, I'll focus. We're going to my Toy-Box warehouse first, right? We need a way to contact somebody and let them know that Steelbeak's insane."  
  
Megavolt gave a little giggle that threatened encroaching hysteria, but nodded.  
  
" I have a phone there...but we can't very well call the police..." He walked along in silence for a few seconds, then gasped. "Celeste has a phone, too! We could call her! We could tell her to tell Negs that we've run into a spot of trouble, while still following Steelbeak's orders...And to think I came up with that without Mr. Banana Brain's help." He remarked to himself.  
  
"Ok, but if we're gonna do this we've gotta be sneaky. If I know Tinsel- Teeth, he's bound to have some of his Eggmen trailing us, and let me tell you, those guys may have been yoke-heads in the past, but they are seriously scary nowadays. If we're making a call, they're gonna be listening." Megavolt thought to himself a moment. "But you're right, that message would work fine even with them spying on us. And let's hit the Lighthouse after that--I have some stuff that can help us, and maybe we can even find Darkwing Duck. I haven't seen him all day, have you? I mean it's not like I've MISSED that meddler but he would be a big help."  
  
* * * As he was speeding down the street, the sight of the two familiar super villains came out of the corner of Negaduck's eye. At the last minute, he screeched the motorcycle to a stop alongside the sidewalk and watched with amusement as they continued to frantically babble, passing by without even noticing him.  
  
"Hey, lovebirds!" Negaduck suddenly barked as they walked past, "Isn't it past your bedtime to be out? The big bad villains may be out, lurking about..."  
  
He climbed off of the bike and slowly, casually strolled over to the two, an oddly content expression on his face. But it quickly disappated when he stopped just inches from them, "What are you two doing out here?? I 'vaguelly' remember telling you two to STAY back at the warehouse! And where's Water-head and Bush-brain??"  
  
"Negaduck!! Whoo-hoo!!! Somebody up there likes me!" Quackerjack cried happily, oblivious to the fact that Negaduck was probably furious with them. His face fell a second later. "Celeste isn't with you?" he inquired in a disappointed and worried tone, glancing around, "That's bad.It's not safe for you two anymore, especially her. not to say that you're not perfectly capable by yourself, of course, it's just that we've run into a bad problem." Quackerjack said quickly. He paused, wondering how best to word the situation. Then he said, "Apparently, Steelbeak does think it's funny to take over the Fearsome Five. He's done it, even though the other guys don't like it too much, and neither do we. Megs and I were lucky to get out with our lives, actually, and he thinks psychopathic Eggmen are spying on us. But now that you're here, everything'll be alright, right?" Quackerjack was suddenly frantic himself, and he grabbed Negaduck's cape urgently, on the verge of a nervous breakdown.  
  
"Liquidator and Bushy are trapped in that place with that lunatic! Megsy here thought that we could get Darkwing to help us out, but we bumped into you, first." Quackerjack looked at Megavolt, then back at Negaduck. "I don't know what to do, but I'd suggest trying to findCeleste, and not to let her out of your sight, either. Steelbeak might play dirty and try to kidnap her." Quackerjack said. He glanced over his shoulder, evidently worried about the `psychopathic Eggmen,' and obediently waited for directions, not caring from whom. He was all out of ideas himself, and for the hundredth time that day, he wished he'd had the presence of mind to bring along Mr. Banana Brain.  
  
"Hey get off me!" Negaduck roared, angrily snatching his cape out of Quackerjack's grip. At the jester's info, he glanced around for any of Steelbeak's lackeys, knowing that the FOWL worker always liked to keep on top of what's going on.  
  
"Oh pleeeeeease help us out, Negaduck, please! Oh pleaseohpleaseohplease! Steelbeak is even scarier than you!" whined Megavolt, throwing himself on the ground and kissing Negaduck's feet in a shameless fashion.  
  
"Cut that out!!" Negaduck roared with a disgusted expression, pulling his ankle free from Megavolt's grasp, "And watch who you say is scarier than who! I'll show that renegade rooster who's top duck in this town..." he growled, then paused before looking down pathetically at Megavolt at his feet, adding in a low tone, "Don't worry about Steelbeak...I'll take care of him, just like I did before...Now get up! You're soiling your reputation as a villain..."  
  
Megavolt, who's mind switched channels faster than his TV, then abruptly he got up again and put his arms behind his back, trying to look nonchalant. "Ahem. I mean, not that I would want to do *anything* that would make Steelbeak mad, after all." He grinned mindlessly at the buildings around them.  
  
"He WHAT??" Celeste yelped, leaping out of the Troublemaker's sidecar at the comment about Steebeak taking over the Five.  
  
"What the..?!?" Negaduck shrieked as he spun around to face the direction of where the familiar voice was coming from, his eyes going wide at the sight of the familiar fourteen year old jumping out of the motorcycle.  
  
Megavolt, was already on edge, and now, when he saw the unexpected figure pop out of the Troublemaker's sidecar, his first thought was that now, in addition to evil eggmen, weird midget things were out to attack him. In an ill-advised move, he screamed and jumped into Negaduck's arms.  
  
The rat abruptly became aware of the untenable position he was in. A sickly grin formed on his face as he saw his own death approaching. "Um. Hi," he said to Negaduck, slowly releasing his  
  
arms from around the seething supervillain's neck.  
  
An annoyed scowl quickly appeared on Negaduck's face as he promptly dropped Megavolt into a heap on the ground. Dusting off his hands, he then turned to face Celeste, anger apparent in his face and his voice."Celeste!? What the Hell are you doing here?? I thought I left you back at the hideout, in a GROUNDED state, as I recall..!"  
  
"Why that egotistical tin-mouthed turkey! I hope his jaw rusts, I'll teach him a lesson," she grumbled, stomping over to where the three villains were talking and rolling up her sleeves. Suddenly she paused, realizing that she'd given herself away and looked up at Negaduck's face with a gulp. His pupils were dialating and his face was turning red with surpressed rage. She smiled weakly and waved, "uh..hi Dad.." Then ducked behind Quackerjack for protection, peeking out timidly.  
  
Oh, dear." Quackerjack commented, feeling his heart leap up to his mouth suddenly, "Oh, dear." He said again, looking to Megavolt hopelessly."Err.Good to see you, Celeste." He said, in common random fashion, actually pleased to see her, despite what he imagined Negaduck saying-or worse, doing. He gave her a wink, wondering how she'd gotten on  
  
with her father in terms of punishment."Um, Boss. you're not angry with her. are you.?" he asked timidly, looking at Negaduck in appeal, as his brain swiftly tried to find the  
  
silver lining in this particular rain-cloud.  
  
"Me? Angry?? Do I LOOK angry to you?!?" Negaduck snapped, shoving his face in Quackerjack's, "I've got a rotten rooster after my title and team, a daughter who has just disobediently tagged along for a fracass where SOMEBODY'S gonna get pulverized...!" He  
  
threw his hands up in the air, letting out a loud growl of frustration.  
  
"I mean, at least if she's here, then Steelbeak can't get.his clutches.on her.to." Quackerjack slowed down, finally ending in a small whine. He drew breath, determined to make something good out of the whole thing."She's a real trooper, you should be very proud of her, willing to take on Steelbeak like that, she's so brave, you've obviously done a tremendous job raising her, and she's really.great." He babbled on a second later; hoping flattery could succeed where optimism had fallen slightly short. Half of it was true, in a way; Quackerjack really did like Celeste, but he was growing increasingly worried about what Negaduck would do to him the second he stopped talking.  
  
"Mommy." He whimpered.  
  
"DON'T try to flatter me, Quackers...NOW is NOT the time..." Negaduck hissed in response, "I'm trying to think of what to do next..." he added, beginning to frantically pace back and forth.  
  
"Alright...the simplest and most effective way to go about the situation is this....I'm just going to straight out confront that perposterous poultry myself, and show him what happens when he messes with Negaduck..." he growled, cracking his knuckles loudly for effect before turning to the now- three villains, "I'm going back there to wait for old Metal Mouth to show up and let him have it. you knobs gather whatever it is you were going for in the first place before I came across you, and then meet me back there. Knowing that suave, suited, silver-faced FOWLer, he'll have his own guard off Eggheads..."  
  
Negaduck spilled the instructions quickly, every thought of Steelbeak sending more vibes of hatred through him. He did not yet know that Steelbeak was already back at the warehouse, but he was still determined to get there and teach him a lesson.  
  
"And as for YOU..." he hissed, pointing at Celeste, "you're coming with me...I don't have time to take you back to the hideout now, and you're not getting away with this so easily. And don't think that I'm gonna let you get involved either..!" Negaduck informed, storming back to the Troublemaker with Celeste in toll. As he climbed on, he looked back over at Megavolt and Quackerjack then pointed at them.  
  
"Get back to the warehouse A.S.A.P...." Negaduck demanded, then hesitantly added as he gunned the engine, "I have a feeling we'll need all the fire power we can get..." Then with a loud 'Vroom!', he sped away with Celeste in the sidecar.  
  
Celeste laced her fingers and stared at them for a while before voicing her thoughts, "I just wanted to help.." No response. She took a deep breath and looked at him, "This is what you've been training me for, I'm not some baby that can't handle blood! I want to be part of the Five too!" She stared at him imploringly. "I know yer trying to protect me but I can't just sit in a room like a china doll! How am I ever supposed to learn without any experience??"  
  
"Your time for experience will come! But now is DEFINITELY NOT the time..." Negaduck trailed off, beginning to think of how the night will transpire, "It's gonna be bad tonight, kiddo...Not even I know what to expect..."  
  
Just as he finished his sentence, they pulled into the alley beside the old warehouse that they had been at earlier that evening. As he shut off the engine, Negaduck turned and looked at Celeste straight in the eyes.  
  
"If you ever do one thing for me, do it now and STAY here until I get back..."  
  
Her hazel eues widenned and she stared back into his midnight blue ones with a growing sense of dread but she forced a nod, "I promise..if you promise you will come back. Please..I..I can't handle losing you again, dad " she bit her bottom lip to keep it from trembling as she hugged him, "Just be careful..I love you."  
  
Negaduck stared down at her, in a somewhat state of shock. He had just been yelling at her minutes ago, but now she was showing pure concern over him. Aside from her, there was only one other person who has felt that way about him...Slowly, he reached down and gave her a quick, light reassuring squeeze in return before slowly pulling her back from him, then  
  
grinned down at her, "I promise, kiddo...Have I let you down yet?" Negaduck answered, quickly ruffling her hair, "I'll be back in no time..."  
  
With a sly wink, he turned away with his cape whipping behind him, and sneaked in through one of the warehouse's side doors. Once inside, Negaduck strained his hearing, tilting his head upward for any sounds or voices. Echoing chatter could be heard coming from one  
  
of the stairwells...familiar voices.Cautiously, he quickly climbed the stairs until he got to the top,  
  
where the stairs ended at a door. Pressing the side of his face against the door, he listened in on the conversation taking place inside.  
  
* * * Bushroot was petrified. Now he really wished he was home, but it was a little late for that. And he was definitely more afraid of Steelbeak than Negaduck. At least Negaduck was consistent. You know how he was going to behave. Steelbeak was unpredictable...and dangerous. The plant duck cast an eye at the Eggmen who had come in as guards. They were so frightening, it was hard to believe there was anything human left in them.  
  
"So..." he began, trying to put up a brave front. "How are we going to polish off Darkwing Duck?" He rubbed his leafy hands together in an attempt to look evil.  
  
Steelbeak could see -- and sense -- Bushroot's fear. He grinned wickedly, knowing that all was going well for him. The expression on his face was a mix of childish mischeif and all the danger of a tiger.  
  
"Simple, Bushroot. We're gonna lead 'em 'ere. Tell 'em Gosalyn came in and hoit 'erself and of course, he'll rush on over 'ere and will wanna rescue 'er. I reallydon't know why I didn't t'ink of it before!"  
  
With a snap of his fingers, he ordered the Eggmen to run out and capture Quackerjack and Megavolt.  
  
According to his watch, they were ten minutes over the time they promised to return at. He was growing impaitent, and began to pace around excitedly and, as he did, he began to laugh AND swear angerily in Italian.  
  
"Is it just me, or is our 'new boss' suffering from spells of schizophrenia?" Licky asked Bushroot in a whisper, "talking to himself, pacing around obsessively, hearing voices..well, that's yet to be determined, but I see it coming!!" Licky continued , his voice rising in intersity, "if we're going to be stealing anything, it should be some Thorazine and insurance coverage for this wacko!" he finished pointing in Steelbeak's direction.  
  
"Doz two better get back here soon..." Steelbeak was menacing the remaining members of the Fearsome Five as he paced, his expression one of clear cut insanity. "I would t'ought dat loser Negadork would have come along by now tryin' ta ruin my plans.  
  
Well well, Steelbeak..." came the growling voice from behind him, "I'm TERRIBLY sorry to keep you waiting, but I had an appointment to keep...You know how the life of a villain is, so many people to torture, so little time..." Negaduck hissed, leaning casually against the doorframe and fiddling with his nails.  
  
Steelbeak quickly whirled around at the voice of Negaduck. His icy silver eyes were filled with intensity and his heart was pounding in excitement. If there would be a fight to take place, now would be the time. The rooster was ready for action and could not be any more confident than he was now.  
  
* * * Negaduck crept down into the dark room, slightly unnerved by the silence. Steelbeak normally wouldn't have been able to resist throwing some sarcastic retort back in his face.At the feeling of the cold metal being pressed against the back of his head, Negaduck's head perked and he straightened himself up, his eyes widening. He didn't expect Steelbeak to be so direct. "Scared? Youse should be..." Steelbeak sneered. "I'm not fond of intruders... I know why youse came 'ere, and if youse t'ink dat I'll back down easily, yer wrong. Dead wrong!" He growled, preparing to pull the trigger. "Youse underestimate me too much. Jus' because my species is de humble domestic chicken, dat doesn't mean dat I 'ave da heart of a tiger!"  
  
"Oh yeah...? Negaduck suddenly seethed. In a super quick motion, he spun around with his arm outstretched, forcefully knocking Steelbeak's hand with the gun aimed to the side and away from his head. Then before he could regain his aim, Negaduck reached into his jacket, pulling out his own gun and aiming it right back at the FOWL High Command with an insane glint in his eye, backing up a few steps into the room.  
  
"Heart of a tiger...but the brain of a Dodo..." Negaduck hissed, "Because you see, Steels, you also underestimate me...you have no idea what I'm capable of. But by messing with my title and my team, I have a feeling you'll find out soon enough..!"  
  
Steelbeak was so angered by Negaduck's attitude that he was at a loss of words. When he opened his beak to say something, he became silent. In his middle age, Steelbeak was not as fast reacting as he was in his youth. However, what he lacked in speed he more than made up for in strength and in perserverence. Just like in any fight he put himself into, the rooster showed no concern at all for his safety. Even now that he was in danger of having hisbrains blown out. It was a foolish fault in his character. All that mattered to him would be that he would win -- or die trying.  
  
"I've 'ad quite enough of youse!" Steelbeak snapped, clamping his metalic jaws around Negaduck's hand like a crocodile.  
  
"YEEOW!!" Negaduck yelped sharply as he felt the cramping pain surge through his right arm. Through gritted teeth, he growled loudly as he lifted his free hand, and quickly jabbed two of his fingers into Steelbeak's eyes. This giving him the opportunity, he managed to wrestle his mangled, bloody wrist free from Steelbeak's grasp and jumped back. Without taking accurate aim, he quickly fired his handgun, which sent a bullet piercing into the wood floor just inches from the rooster's feet.  
  
"That wasn't an accident! And neither will be the next one that goes in your head...!"  
  
* * *  
  
Celeste yelped in shock as her head snapped up at the cry from her father and the sound of a gun going off, "DAD!!!!!!" She shrieked in fear and immediately whirled, charging into the building. Her eyes didn't take in her father right away since he'd backed up slightly into the shadows and all she saw were the drops of blood on the floor from his broken wrist. That was enough to galvanize her from fear to horror to shere fury and she launched herself onto Steelbeak's back, pounding at him with one fist as she hung onto the feathers on the back of his neck and kicking him fiercely in the gut, "You..you butcher!!!I'll rip yer heart out for this!" She sobbed in outrage, socking him a surprisingly strong upper cut in the side of the face as she attacked him like a rabid squirrel.  
  
"What de...?" Steelbeak yelped, his rage replaced with shock as he was suddenly and rapidly getting attacked by the brave child defending her father. In the darkness, he was unable to see exactly who it was. "GET OFF OF ME!" He demanded, throwing a punch behind him. In the corner of his eyes he saw that his sudden attacker was a young teenage girl, the same one he had met up with in the bad part of town. How dare she interfered with his matters, he thought. "Only cowards attack from behind, child!"  
  
Yet, girl or Negaduck, he would fight back just as viciously. The pain he was feeling in his abdomen and jaw only helped to elevate his wild fury, and he bit her hard in whatever arm was closest to him. Normally he wouldn't go out of his way to hurt a lady, but desperate times call for desperate measures. Grabbing the arm that he didn't bite, he roughtly whirled her around to face him and brought her face down to his.  
  
"Youse made de woist mistake, missy!"  
  
Celeste gasped, blood gushing from the bite wound in her arm but her eyes were still narrowed in fury and she kicked him hard in the gut and spit in his face, scowling and looking remarkablly like Negs with those dark thunderclouds rolling in her eyes, intensified by the pain from what she could only guess was a badly broken arm. "Oh kiss my tail feathers, you over baked brainless behemoth," she snarled, her beak wrinked in a fierce expression as she landed another kick in his stomach hard enough to knock the wind out of him."Yer gonna pay for hurting my father, no one messes with him and gets away from me alive!" she struggled, trying to pull her arm free.  
  
Steelbeak lurched over and fell to the ground with a loud thud, instantly letting her go. Even in his state he was still determined to fight to the very end. He struggled to stand up, and when he did, he slapped Celeste in the face. Never before had he known so much anger.  
  
"Dat'll teach youse not ta mess wit' da Steelbeak!" He roared, blood trickling out his mouth from a severe injury to his tongue. He turned around, and made yet another lunge at Negaduck.  
  
But before Steelbeak could reach Negaduck, a large watery hand slapped Steelbeak across the face, throwing him backwards against a wall, and leaving him dripping wet besides. "That's about enough!!" The Liquidator growled uncontrollably, "I may not be a day care teacher, or even someone who really likes little whipper snappers that much, but attacking a defenseless....." he looked over at Celeste and remembered how strong she seemed just a moment ago, "well, maybe not defenseless, but picking on a younger and more..impressionable girl, just doesn't fly my sails. It doesn't float my boat matey," The Liquidator paused for a moment to consider what he just said, "Did I just say that?" he wondered aloud, not sure if he should be more disturbed by the protection of Negaduck and child, or the bizarre sea analogies he was coming up with.  
  
"Anyways!" he continued shaking his head of any previous thoughts that had entered it, "I may not be Negaduck's number one fan, but I certainly would choose his tyranny over yours!" Licky finished scooping up Negaduck with two giant waves and placing him back on his feet, "so there! Ha! I said it!!" HE looked over to Bushroot, Megavolt, and Quackerjack for support, "guys?!!! You with me on this!?"  
  
Normally Megavolt might have held back, but he had come in the warehouse just in time to see Steelbeak bite the kid. The shock (no pun intended) was too much to leave him unaffected. His eyes glinted darkly. "Oh indubitably my dear Licky," he muttered as sparks jumped between the two flanges on his rubber plug helmet.  
  
Negaduck glanced around at his fellow comrades, more in shock at what they had just said, and at their loyalty to him. They were still on his side. As he was placed back on his feet, he dusted himself off, then spotted Celeste out of the corner of his eye, who was now also wounded. His eyes narrowed hatefully as he turned back to Steelbeak and slowly advanced on him."You just never learn, do you..?" he growled insultingly at him, stopping just inches away, "How many times must you be humiliated before you see that I'M the top bird in this city? And those knobs may not be overly smart..." he commented, pointing a thumb over his shoulder at the rest of the Fearsome Five, "But they're not stupid enough as to follow your command willingly..."  
  
His glare suddenly morphed into a snide sneer as he added, "You're all washed up, Steels..."  
  
Quackerjack, horrified, pushed past the others, not caring if it was his place or Negaduck's to watch out for the Boss's own daughter, all thoughts of himself and his comrades, even of Steelbeak, forgotten. He stopped next to Celeste, uncertain. "Are.are you alright, Celeste? Oh, you should have waited for us, you're too foolish.so brave." He couldn't even finish the sentence, he was too distraught as he helped her to stand, letting her lean on him. "You could have been killed." He mumbled softly, not wanting to insult her, but unsure of just how serious her injuries were.  
  
The jester stood up, fiercely angry for the first time since he could remember. "You're a playground bully." He snarled at Steelbeak flatly, taking breath to deal worse injuries, "And a no-good.dirty.back- stabbing.coward!" He spat. His mind fumbled to come up with the most vile insults that he knew, which turned out to be quite pathetic ones, at best.  
  
Quackerjack was furious, and with that rage came bravery that he'd never realized he had before. He didn't even bother to glance at the other Fearsome Five to determine which side they were on. He'd already picked his side. When he spoke, he hardly recognized his voice, it was so full of suppressed violence and so drastically unlike his usual merry cheer. It was like somebody flipped a switch."I may not even have superpowers, not that I really care, but I'll take you on all by myself, fight you to the death, for this. It's a cardinal rule of mine to never hurt children, no matter how capable they may be." He said heatedly, fists clenched, "So I'd advise either attacking me or running now, and fast, because I won't give you another chance."  
  
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, there Quacky, simmer down!!"Licky advised as he transformed hid left arm into a makeshift hose and quickly doused Quackjack in water to get his attention, "I think our lead-headed louse of an ex- leader over there gets the idea. He's got NO ONE on his side now." Licky then glared over at Steelbeak for confirmation, "that is, you DO get the hint, don't you? Or....do we really need to give you..the bath," Licky warned waving his hose-like arm around for emphasis, "and I'm not referring to those politically corrupt Roman smoozing hot tubs either!"  
  
Bushroot stood with leafy hands clenched and two large fir trees ready at strike at Steelbeak. He felt nothing but loathing for this coward who had assaulted a little girl, and for once his timidity was gone. He stood tall, ready to fight with the others against Steelbeak.  
  
"Usually chickens eat corn, Steelbeak." he said in an ice cold voice. "One false move and I'll see to it that the corn gets some payback."  
  
With a menacing grin, Negaduck leaned forward, his face just inches from Steelbeak's as he stared into the rooster's dark eyes with his own."As you can see, Steelbeak...you've clearly lost...again," he whispered to him, his eyes glowing in dleight at Steelbeak's downfall. But they suddenly turned to a violent, raging appearance as he continued, "And if so much as ever lay a finger on my daughter again...I know where to find that little wifey and kid of yours. Try to run, and I'll track them down...an eye for an eye, got it..??"  
  
The threat was spat as if it were venom being ejected from a snake's fangs, and Negaduck pulled himself back from Steelbeak, keeping his eyes fixed on him."So...are you going to leave quietly? Or do I get the pleasure of cutting you into bite-sized chucnks and throwing them out the window for the alley cats to feast on..?"  
  
Steelbeak snarled and made one last ditch lundge for Negaduck, only to be stopped by the most unlikely of the Five. Quackerjack, who had never resorted to flat out punching anyone before hit him with one fist in a solid connecting right between the eyes and sent the roosters flying back into the wall where he lay dazed. "That was for Cel," he muttered before returning to her side.  
  
Celeste coughed and leaned against Quackerjack, holding her wounded arm against her. "Chickens...is everyone else ok?" She paused then looked up at Quackerjack then seized one of his dangling bells on his harliquin hat and pulled him down to face her, "Don't EVER  
  
scare me like that again! You could have gotten killed and I.." She swallowed hard, tears welling in her eyes, "I love you." She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him. Her first kiss.  
  
Quackerjack's eyes bugged out considerably more than usual, but he didn't try to pull  
  
away, not even when he caught sight of Negaduck nearby. He hugged her back and returned the kiss. After a minute or two he broke off, looking down at her with genuine affection on his face. "You don't need to worry about me, I've been in this business for years, and it hasn't killed me yet." He said, softly, "But I'm glad that you do, anyway. Now all I need to do is figure out why you like me so much!" He chuckled.  
  
The jester paused, glancing around then bent down next to Celeste and whispered, "You  
  
want to get out of here with me before your dad notices us?" "Too late..." growled a low voice from behind Quackerjack, followed by two strong hands taking ahold of the jester by his shoulders and fiercly turning him around to stare into the face of an enraged Negaduck. The villain's eyes were turning an angry red as he glared  
  
at his comrad."She's not going anywhere but FAR away from you..." Negaduck hissed  
  
as he clenched one of his fists in a threatening manner, "And if I ever catch you with her again...I'll be sure to give you a one-way non-stop ticket to meet Lucifer, compliments of me..."  
  
The black masked mallard roughly released Quackerjack from his grip. He then glared down at Celeste, not looking pleased."You're coming with me RIGHT now!"he instructed, taking  
  
her firmly by her good wrist and pulling her back towards the Troublemaker.  
  
Megavolt blinked and scratched his head under his plug hat, staring at the unconcious rooster He turned to Quackerjack plaintively. "What are we supposed to do now? Oh. Wait. That's right, I forgot you were in disgrace. I'd probably better not ask you, ol' 'Humbert Humbert,'" he teased lightly.  
  
"Ha. Ha. Very funny. Don't become a stand-up." Quackerjack sniffed flatly, giving Megavolt a glare. He was still slightly shaken up by Negaduck's threat, and had no desire to give him any reason to follow up on it. But then, nobody had ever accused Quackerjack of giving up easily.  
  
He put a hand in his pocket, rummaging around thoughtfully. He produced a piece of paper and a pencil, then wrote something down. "Hey, Celeste." he said, keeping his voice to a conspiratorial whisper, "Call me!" He tossed her the balled-up paper, then grabbed Megavolt's arm. "Ordinarily, I wouldn't be talking to you right now, but unless you want to get arrested by the masked-wonder and-slash-or chewed out by Negaduck, we need to get out of here, and I want to put some distance between me and psycho-boss in there." He started tugging on  
  
Megavolt's sleeve urgently. "Come on."  
  
Celeste clutched the piece of paper like precious gold and smiled in a dreamy smitten fashion. Grounded for a year or not, it had all been well worth it.  
  
* * * -CHORUS- [wake me up] Wake me up inside [I cant wake up] Wake me up inside [Save me] Call my name and save me from the dark [Wake me up] Bid my blood to run [I cant wake up] Before I come undone [Save me] Save me from the nothing Ive become  
  
{Bring me to life} [Ive been living a lie..Theres nothing inside] {Bring me to life}  
  
Frozen inside without your touch Without your love, darling Only you are the life among the dead  
  
[All of this I, I cant believe I couldnt see Kept in the dark, but you were there in front of me]  
  
Ive been sleeping a thousand years it seems Got to open my eyes to everything  
  
[Without a thought, without a voice, without a soul] {Dont let me die here}{There must be something more} Bring me to life  
  
-CHORUS- [wake me up] Wake me up inside [I cant wake up] Wake me up inside [Save me] Call my name and save me from the dark [Wake me up] Bid my blood to run [I cant wake up] Before I come undone [Save me] Save me from the nothing Ive become  
  
Bring me to life [Ive been living a lie.. Theres nothing inside] Bring me to life 


	4. If Only You Knew

Chapter 4  
If Only You Knew  
  
And I'd give up forever to touch you 'Cause I know that you feel me somehow You're the closest to heaven that i've ever been And I don't want to go home right now  
  
And all I can taste is this moment And all I can breathe is your life and sooner or later it's over I just don't want to miss you tonight  
  
And I don't want the world to see me 'Cause I don't think that they'd understand When everything's made to be broken I just want you to know who I am  
  
And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming Or the moment of truth in your lies When everything feels like the movies Yeah, you bleed just to know you're alive  
  
* * *  
  
Celeste sighed as Quackerjack's message played , slumping down on her patched together red yellow and black quilt that covered her bed, attempting to sound cheerful as she left her message,"Hey..Quacky...This is Cel. I hope you're ok..I miss you. Call me back when you can, ok?" She left her number and gave the receiver a kiss so he'd at least get the sound effect before hanging up.  
  
She sneezed and rubbed her beak, having developed a cold during the night's events, "Aw, who am I kidding? Maybe he's just..out of my league.." tears stung her eyes and she rubbed them away, "I mean I told him I loved him and he didn't even say if he liked me back.." She sighed and unfolded the wellcreased paper with QJ's number on it. She'd already memorized it and could have dialed it in her sleep. Even though she felt discouraged she knew she wasn't about to give up. She really truely cared for Quackerjack, and she held some hope he just might share her feelings.  
  
She slid off the bed and grabbed her coat, a detemined look on her face. Ok, admittedly she was grounded, maybe for life when her father ever got home from talking to his girlfriend..if he ever came back..She forced this thought away and pushed her window open, crawling out and sliding down the drain pipe. She just HAD to find Quacky again, somehow.  
  
* * *  
  
Quackerjack walked back to his old hideout alone, hands in his pockets and head down. Truth to tell, he couldn't remember a time when he'd felt more sad. Scratch that. There was a time, he just didn't want to remember. Wouldn't. Quackerjack brought his keys out of his pocket and glanced up at the door. Cute scrawled letters in crayon proclaimed `Quackerjack's  
  
Playhouse!' He paused for a minute, a menagerie of thoughts chasing each other randomly in his mind. He shoved the keys back viciously into the coat and slammed his head against the door. He couldn't go back in there. couldn't face what he was.  
  
Quackerjack leaned his back against the wall, staring miserably into a dirty puddle on the sidewalk. He sighed, trying to regain the cheerful attitude. It seemed near impossible now, in the darkness, cold and utterly abandoned. He felt like some mangy alley dog, still trying to play like a puppy, but one that all the mothers kept their kids away from, for fear of having them lose a limb. "I miss you.Princess." He said softly, almost against his will. He flinched in pain. How many years had it been since he'd thought of his family.? Not enough. He couldn't face all that psychological rubble right now. Especially alone. He glanced up at the sky, then back at the door. He withdrew a red crayon from the same pocket and scribbled `playhouse' out. Below the scrawl he wrote, `Sanitarium' in block print.  
  
"Time to face facts." He said bitterly, unlocking the door and walking into the shadowy warehouse. He looked around at the toys apathetically. QJ wasn't in a playful mood.  
  
Mr. Banana Brain was on the floor as he had been that morning-discarded like so much garbage. Quackerjack passed the toy without so much as a passing glance and approached his desk. He sat down, considering his options. A small beeping noise assaulted his ears. It  
  
proved to be the last straw.  
  
Snarling like a rabid animal, he picked up the nearest object-an alphabet block, and hurled it towards the source of the noise. The beeping stopped, and was replaced with his automated answering machine.  
  
"You have.3.new messages." The phone said, in a neutral voice. "Message one. Nine-twenty-AM. Quackerjack, it's Richard. If you're there, pick up." A pause, then, "Okay, fine. I'll call again later. Keep out of trouble."  
  
Quackerjack sighed deeply, slumping further into his chair and throwing the coat off. Parole officer. "Just what I don't need." He grumbled, feeling annoyed with the universe in general.  
  
"Message two. Six-fifty-two-PM. Jack, it's an old friend.Aryl."  
  
"Aryl." Quackerjack repeated coldly. He didn't lift his head. She was probably going to tell him that she'd need to be in the other dimensions for a couple more years, and not to wait up.  
  
".I can't tell you what I've been up to lately over the phone. I could tell you in person, though. I want to see you soon."  
  
"`I want to see you soon.'" Quackerjack repeated, contemptuously, "Oh, yeah? How soon? Sometime in the next century?"  
  
"Why aren't you there, you sweet little buffoon?"  
  
"I have a life, maybe?" Quackerjack shot back acidly, at the message.  
  
"You'll think Negaduck practices Buddhism compared to what I'll do to you when I get my hands on you.! Call me back soon. You know the number, or you should by now. 763-8899."  
  
Quackerjack gazed over at the phone, still blinking the little message light. "Airlia." He scoffed, the anger coming back to him in a seething wave. "What does that little jerk want with me? Isn't she busy with her nice little EVIL club?" He briefly toyed with the idea of calling her back and getting into a nice screaming argument, then decided against it.  
  
He tipped back in the chair a little further so he could catch the next message more clearly. Maybe it was Negaduck, describing in more graphic detail what he would do to QJ if he found him with Celeste. ::That's right, think nice dark thoughts. Wallow in self-pity. It'll make up for all those times you wanted to but wouldn't.:: He thought, morosely.  
  
"Message three. Seven-fourteen-PM. Hey..Quacky...This is Cel. I hope you're ok..I miss you. Call me back when you can, ok?" Followed by a phone number and a smooching noise.  
  
Quackerjack, completely stunned, lost his balance and fell to the ground with a noisy thump. He was still for a few minutes, seeing stars and feeling his heart pound."Ooh." he mumbled, feeling all of his previous injuries from the night add their complaints to his newest ones. He stood up, brushing himself off, and stared at the phone. He approached it warily, as though it might explode. Tentatively, he hit `replay' and listened to the message over. Then again, just in case he had been hallucinating. "She called me." he muttered, disbelieving. Then, louder, "She called  
  
me!"  
  
He stood up, pumped a fist to the sky in triumph. "Celeste likes me!!" he cried gleefully. He stopped and his face fell back to a frown. A small voice piped up.  
  
"You don't like her?"  
  
He shook his head violently. "No, no, it's not that, Mr. Banana Brain." He said feverishly, "Not that at all."  
  
"Are you scared of Negaduck?" Mr. Banana Brain asked next.  
  
"No. It isn't that either." Quackerjack muttered, feeling his heart drop, "You remember Princess?"  
  
Mr. Banana Brain was quiet for a few minutes, then offered, "Yes."  
  
"Well, that's why." Quackerjack said, in a tone that suggested that no more should be said about it.  
  
Mr. Banana Brain took the hint and was silent. Quackerjack sat down at the desk again and groaned. "Why does this happen to me??" he asked, banging his head against the desk.  
  
He glanced up. If she really did like him, she deserved to know the truth. At the worst, she wouldn't like him anymore. At the best, she might forgive him for not telling her sooner, and maybe they could be really good friends.even. boyfriend/girlfriend?  
  
A determined look on his face, Quackerjack opened the door again and stepped outside. He hesitated just a second, remembering Negaduck's threat. Then he nodded to himself.  
  
"No problem with that. Negs is probably busy with the rest of the Four."  
  
With that in mind, he set off down the road, keeping a sharp lookout for Celeste.  
  
* * *  
  
Celeste sneezed again, rubbing at her sore beak with a tissue, one arm swinging at her side and the mending one held protectively near her chest. She glanced up at the blackish blue midnight sky with it's sparking diamond stars and for a second she could have SWORN she saw Quacky's image in the sky. She blushes and chuckled, shaking her head. Ok, so she was totally lost in this crush. She whistled to herself as she very nearly skipped along, stopping as she came to a large rain puddle, a childish urge dancing in her mind. She glanced up and down the street, then satisfied that she was not being watched she sprang forward and landing in the puddle with both feet, laughing as drops of rain splashed high into the air and drenched her. She  
  
giggled and twirled on one foot like a ballerina, closing her eyes as the wind ran it's cool fingers through her hair. She felt more free and alive than ever before.  
  
A ghost of a smile touched Quackerjack's beak as he watched from the shadows. She was so perfect. So pretty. Pedophile. The thought slipped into his mind, and was quickly banished.  
  
"Heaven must be missing an angel." He quipped softly, stepping out of the darkness, "Because I think I found her."  
  
"Q-quackerjack!" Celeste stammered, stopping so fast that she feet slide out from under her and she landed on her tailfeathers in the puddle, blushing brightly with embarassment. She got to her feet and wiped water off her as she smiled at him, curling a lock of hair around her finger. He had the most amazing smile....she sighed, her eyes gleaming with light and adoration. She stepped closer to him, lowering her gaze self conciously, "Thank you..um...what are you  
  
doing out here? I was just coming to look for you..."  
  
His eyes lit up in surprise. "I was coming to look for YOU, actually."He couldn't really take his eyes off her, and he flinched. ::Tell her now, or not at all.:: Commanded his mind. "Listen... Cel... You want to come with me, back to my hideout? Just to chat, I mean?" he added  
  
hastily, lest she get the wrong idea. He couldn't have her as a friend until she knew the truth.  
  
You..your place?" Celeste stammered, certain she'd heard wrong but her eyes lit up with a gleam of emmense pleasure, "I'd love to!" She beamed and slipped her hand into his, lacing her fingers with his as they walked along, her head resting on his shoulder. ~Wow, I've never gone back to a guy's place before...almost like I'm really his girlfriend! I wonder what is house is like..I beat it's colorful and cozy...and sweet like him..~ she thought, smiling as she snuggled  
  
closer to him, her heart hammering in her chest from excitement. "So where do you live?" she asked conversationally, just wanting to hear his voice when he replied. The way he'd looked at her a moment ago sent chills of joys through her.  
  
Quackerjack felt himself go slightly numb at the hug, at how she was acting. He was loved. Someone cared for him. For now, he allowed cautiously, for now. Nothing wrong with a little love between friends, but don't let this get further until she knows. It's only fair. He tentatively put an arm around her, gazing down with slightly moist eyes.  
  
I hardly recognize you, you sap. A voice said in his mind. Whatever happened to the Quackerjack who was a loner and a loony, a hardened criminal? Well?! He grinned, acknowledging the voice with the briefest of nods. `He's gone, take a number.' He thought, inanely. He himself was at a loss to explain his behavior. Maybe Celeste brought out the best in him. Thoughts of Negaduck and consequences for his actions were way in the back of his mind. He was concentrating solely on the present.  
  
"My hideout. ah. it's not too bad." he said, modestly, breaking the silence, "Nothing like the quality you're used to, I bet. But I do okay. For a crazy guy." He shut himself up, instantly aware that he was babbling. He did that from time to time, usually when he was  
  
nervous.  
  
`I should have brought her flowers.' He cursed himself inwardly. Then, `I thought this wasn't going that far?' Okay, fine. We'll wait, he promised his inner voice.  
  
He stopped outside the Playhouse, deliberately taking the back entrance to avoid the altered sign, and bowed grandly, opening the door (Should've had it locked, he thought) and motioning her in.He stepped in after her, then shut the door. Didn't lock it. He didn't want her to feel threatened. He really didn't know whether to admire her for her bravery at wanting to venture into the abode of a crazy supervillain, or feel insulted that he obviously wasn't conveying enough fear to his audiences. It was a paradox of sorts, so he let it go. He sat down and watched her for a few seconds in silence. She's so pretty! Like a real angel. He thought, then screwed up his eyes and shook his head. No, no! That's certainly not fair on her."So.ah. can I get you anything?" he asked, fidgeting.  
  
Celeste smiled absently, glancing around and running her hand over a brightly painted hobby horse as she smiled happily, feeling comfortable in his home," No, that's ok..."  
  
"Oh!" she cried out suddenly in delight as she spotted Mr. Banana Brain and scooped him up. "He's so cute!!" She hugged the puppet , rubbing her cheek against him as she sat down by Quacky, "Oh sorry, I interrupted you...what was it you wanted to talk about?" she asked,  
  
her hazel eyes sparkling, the banana puppet still propped up in her lap as if he were a real person.  
  
She was the closest thing he'd ever seen to `poetry in motion,' and he was beginning to understand the obsession in Poe's `Annabelle Lee' story. Love really was a powerful thing.  
  
Quackerjack couldn't help the wide smile that shot across his face when she noticed Mr. Banana Brain, and had such a positive reaction to it. His own psycho-ventriloquism techniques were taking a short absence ever since he had had the argument with the doll. That was  
  
probably a good thing, since him unconsciously talking it might make her even more unsure about his current state of mind.  
  
He opened his bill to speak, closed it. What could he say? How could he sit there and pour out his life story to her? She was too sweet for that. She was innocent. Like he was, once. He couldn't bear to be the miserable creature who changed that.There's that self pity again. His inner voice scolded. "I'm sorry." He said, aloud, looking at her pleadingly, hoping she  
  
could understand, "It's just. I've never told another living soul about. what happened; to make me like this." He gestured to himself, then hung his head. Couldn't even think about it.  
  
You see? He told himself, you can't even admit to yourself. Can't tell her, for sure."I wouldn't want to burden you. I'm sorry I made you come here. I just wasted your time."  
  
He could hardly believe what he was saying. Here was one of the only people willing to reach out to him and show him love, and he was trying to push her away. What the hell was he doing?  
  
He looked back at her for a moment, admiring her beauty, then walked over to the doorway morosely. His face was in shadows for a minute, and he hoped she couldn't see the single tear that dripped down his bill.  
  
He was certain she couldn't like him. Couldn't possibly have affection for the monster that he was. All he could do was distress her, and that was the last thing in the world that he wanted.  
  
He decided to say so. "All there is for you here is ruin. Please...just go home. Don't think about me anymore. I... I don't want to hurt you." He choked the sob, tried to back away from the room, and stumbled. He caught himself on the doorframe shakily, and added, "It's not you  
  
that's the problem, it's me. I'm a freak."  
  
Celeste blinked, the joy on her face faded to deep pain as she put the puppet aside and stood, moving over next to him and taking his hand,"Quacky..yer not a freak. And even if everyone said you were I wouldn't care. You couldn't ever hurt me..unless you just plain hated  
  
me," she added with a weak smile, wiping his tear away and fighting back her own. Inside her heart was breaking that he wanted her to leave but she was determined to show him that she cared. "Look, nothing you could ever tell me would make me not care about you...you're the best friend I've ever had. If..if you really want me to leave because you just..don't like me.." she had to fight the tremble in her voice before she continued, "All you have to do is ask and I..I'll go, but don't do it if yer just trying to spare me from something because the worst thing that could ever happen to me..is losing you." she bit her lip and stared up at him lovingly, her eyes  
  
glittering with unshead tears,still sqeeuzing his hand, "You wanted to tell me something, please do..please? I want you to trust me."  
  
Quackerjack looked away. That one stupid tear was enough to break the dam, and he knew he was going to start sobbing in a minute. "You don't think so." He said, flatly. "I don't think that's the voice of experience speaking. I don't want to hurt you. I. I really do.love." his throat closed. He couldn't say it. "Suppose I told you I was a murderer?" he whispered hoarsly, "Suppose.suppose I told you I couldn't live with myself anymore? That that was why I gave it up?" a pause. That last, desperate attempt to make her recoil, and he sensed it hadn't worked. Then, he spoke, through Mr. Banana Brain's voice. The only way he could say it."I don't hate you. I love you."  
  
Dead silence from his end. He'd said it. Practically signed his death warrant.  
  
"I.don't want to lose you, either." He said, quietly. Before he knew what he was doing, he was hugging her hard. "I've always wanted a friend, but all I ever do is push them away or lie to them. That ends here. I won't lie any more. I'll tell you. But you've gotta swear that you'll keep it quiet."  
  
Celeste hugged him back, her entire form trembling at his words. ~He loves me! He really does!~ She pulled back slightly even though all she wanted to do was hug him forever and crossed her heart, "I swear I'll never tell a soul as long as I live. I'd never betray you..I  
  
love you, Quacky.." her tears slipped free and she wiped them away," And I'll always be your friend, always. Look, I'm Negaduck's protogee, you think I haven't seen people get killed? Like I said...nothing could make me turn away from you. You don't have to tell me anything that makes you uncomfortable but if you feel like you need to I'll listen, I won't ever speak of it again, and I won't judge you."  
  
She smiled and nuzzled his cheek gently with her bill before sitting down to listen with an attentive look, folding her hands in her lap. She knew no matter what he said it wouldn't change one fact: That she loved him and he loved her. Her heart was beating so hard she wondered if it might burst into a million pieces as she sat and stared up at him.  
  
Quackerjack stared at her, openmouthed. He had thought Celeste was just one of those people. one of them who would flinch from him, or make fun of him, as they had his whole life. But here she was doing just the opposite. He wondered if she knew precisely what she was getting herself into. You can tell her, then. I guess it's safe. After all, if you can't tell someone that sweet and devout, who *can* you tell? He thought with a small frown.  
  
"So.you really do love me." he mused, aware he was speaking aloud. It was an unusual emotion; being loved, one that he hadn't felt for a very long time.He was turning her words over in his mind. She had promised not to judge him. "Funny, really, that I could get away with murdering my parents and my uncle, but the courtroom sends me to prison for petty theft." He  
  
said, heavily, beginning the story.  
  
He sat across from her, watched those pretty eyes with a devoted expression, and then nodded to himself. "It's sorta complicated, but I'll try to keep it brief. I know everybody who's ever met me has wondered why I'm like this. a psychological ruin, so to speak. You're the lucky first to hear the real reason why. Or maybe the `unlucky' first, depending on how you look at it."  
  
He paused, considering his next words. "I guess it may come as a bigger shock to you than to most people: knowing that I deliberately killed my mother and father, and was indirectly responsible for my sister and uncle's deaths.. Seeing as how you never had a real family to call your own, you might think me a monster to destroy the one I had."  
  
He sighed deeply. He hadn't revealed too much, yet. He could still call it off. But he knew he couldn't look at her without remembering that he had held back the truth from one of the precious few who cared about him.  
  
"Let me give you some idea of how the house worked, first. There was me; the loner and outsider, even in his own family-the kid who brought home decent grades, along with stray cats and scripts for the school plays. Then there was my mom, a shrewish little woman who was  
  
always telling me to follow my heart, but was shackled by the worst husband alive.a drunk, and an abusive one, too. She would go out late at night to parties, trying to find a different boyfriend. In all senses but the legal one, my parents were divorced. That little boyfriend fiasco resulted in the other dysfunctional member of our lovely little family. Amy, my baby sister...my very best friend, back then. You can imagine how my father took that."He looked down at the ground, suddenly finding it immensely interesting.  
  
"I was only ten years old at the time.she was four. A fight started between my mom and dad, and Amy tried to stop them. He took that as insubordination and killed her. he denied doing it on purpose, but he hit her too hard for me to believe it was anything else. That very same day, I managed to steal a gun from a cop, and I shot my father, then my mother. She was witness to his murder, you see.and I had never really managed to get over the fact that she brought my sister into a world of pain and terror, and never did anything about it."He stopped, looked slightly confused, and then continued, "It's not too clear in my mind about what I did next--all a blur, really. I can remember managing to frame my father for killing my mother and sister, and then himself. I was sent to my uncle's house, who was practically oblivious to me. I was getting beaten up at school for being so emotionally off-kilter, so I joined a gang for protection, and soon became its leader. We were going to get into some fight or another--I can't remember what that was about, either, except that it was territorial. I refused to do it, and the gang took it as weakness. They said they'd kill my uncle and me if I didn't cooperate.I tried to stay home with my uncle more often. He may have been a little senile, but he was all I had left. Then came Airlia Ermine."  
  
Quackerjack stopped again, and a dark shadow crossed his face."She wanted to show me her power. the ability to skip between dimensions like this one and the Negaverse.or Posiverse, depending. I knew I shouldn't, wasn't supposed to leave my uncle unguarded from the gangs. I did anyway. When I came back, my uncle was dead. I was all alone. Thirteen years old. I went to an orphanage. Shuttled between foster homes that couldn't deal with me cutting my wrists and back to the orphanage. Airlia didn't know about it, of course. She was too busy with her little club to care about the unusual kid who she'd shown off to...who she'd completely wrecked the life of."His sad face was suddenly transformed into one of fury. "I won't rest till I kill her, too."  
  
A brief pause, and then he realized what he was doing. "I just admitted to you that I'm going to kill again.and I will, I won't be able to stop myself. How can you possibly love me after  
  
that?" He put his head into his hands; his shoulders shook for a moment. He felt alone, afraid.the very personification of a child lost. "Either you're a very stupid fool, or the bravest goddess in the world." He muttered, head still down.  
  
"I just don't want to hurt you, too. Everyone I've ever come into contact with is dead, insane, or just really, really lucky not to have been hurt or killed by me. I'd hate for that to happen to you."  
  
He couldn't look up, but continued, "And I love you anyway. The most selfish thing I could ever do."  
  
Celeste listened without flinching once. She was no stranger to death and probably far less innocent than he thought. At his comment about her being a fool or brave she chuckled softly,"I'm probably a little of both, but since you've told me so much, I think I owe you the  
  
same," She paused, hesitating because Negaduck was the only person who knew this besides her, then hugged her knees against her chest and went on," I was born into a very rich family in the Negaverse. Most of this I don't really remember since I was only 2 when my  
  
parents ditched me but I picked up bits from the teasing the other kids gave me at the orphanage. My mother was a very vain woman who straved herself the entire pregnancy so she wouldn't lose an inch of her figure. After I was born I was passed off to nannies and she went  
  
back to her social circle. My father never gave me a second glance, you see, he wanted a son, an heir, but I was just a disappointment so they hid me away and no one ever knew they had a child except for the rumours ofcourse and a few of my mom's closest friends..I was kinda a conversational piece you could say."  
  
"When I was 2 they finally grew tired of dealing with me at all, I was too much of a risk of being discovered and I was noisy and broke things so one night they found a deserted street when it was raining and dropped me in a gutter, then drove off. I guess they thought a little thing like me would die from expossure but someone found me and took me to the orphange. I grew up there until I was eight and every other day the kids beat me up and I was sent to my room without dinner for "rabble-rousing". So finally ran away."  
  
"I'd been walking for hours and I found a motorcycle and curled up in the sidecar...ofcourse it was Negaduck's, lord of the Negaverse. Anyway one thing lead to another and he ended up keeping me around...until one day when I was eleven we got into an arguement and he left..I thought it was my fault but I found out years later he'd been cut off by the portal between this world and that. Anyway, in the mean time I learned to fend for myself. I became a crack-shot, a  
  
theif and spy after the Friendly Four...yours and the Four's Nega- counterparts, took over."  
  
"Later on I ended up here and met up with dad again..things were great for a while...but he got caught a while back before I turned fourteen and they were gonna give him the death  
  
sentence...long story but..I broke in through the airvents and shot three guards. Killed them..I haven't touched a gun since." She swallowed hard and looked up at him, "Maybe if I'd had the chance I'd have killed my real parents too..I know I thought about it all those years ago...so we're really not that different." If he hated her for anything he would for the words she was about to say but she knew she had to get them out,"I don't think killing this person will help..I  
  
think it'll make things worse...but if it means that much to you, I..I'll help..I want you to be happy..because I truely, deeply love you," she swallowed hard and looked into his eyes.  
  
Quackerjack listened with a growing sense of wonder. He'd suspected that there was something dark behind her past, but he'd never dreamed.so much, for one so young. Perhaps she wasn't as innocent as he'd originally assumed. It was a marvel that she still held a glimmer of  
  
happiness.He swallowed, for once at a loss for words. Around them were brightly colored toys, objects, it seemed, from another life. They had no place within this dark future that the two of them had woven from their somber pasts.  
  
The silence stretched on between them, and he felt it was his place to say something. He really felt like offering to kill her real parents himself, but after what she had said. it didn't seem  
  
appropriate. "I.ah. I'm sorry.about your parents." He said, weakly. Did violence really solve anything? Apparently he had thought it did, those many years ago. He was still using it as his crutch, even now. For how long had he used the bodies of others as stepping stones? As  
  
long as I can remember. he thought, miserably. `We're really not that different.' Those words seemed to etch their way permanently into his mind.  
  
"I don't want you to help me kill her." He said, "I want to do it myself." His eyes were alight with that familiar sadistic gleam. "Maybe you don't think it would help. I doubt that. But if you don't want me to. then I won't touch her. I swear it." He alarmed himself at how easily the promise was made to someone he had met that very day, against a person he had wanted to kill for years.  
  
He was still latched onto her earlier words, shocked but not repulsed that Celeste had killed, when that mischievous voice in the back of his head whispered, reminding him of her final sentence. His shoulders slumped as he faced a different kind of defeat. She loved him, even after he had told her everything. He hadn't planned that, but he had hardly planned her being so.sad.so alone, either. He could never abandon her, even if he had detested her to no end. As it was. he did love her. More than anything in the world.But now he didn't know what to do. Long term planning wasn't his specialty, and there was the added difficulty of her unwavering loyalty. She was amazing. One of the only people he'd ever met who could make Negaduck do anything he didn't want to... and he suspected she could exert the same power over him.  
  
"I don't believe I've ever really met another girl quite like you." he said, slowly, "And you know your dad would kill me quite inhumanly if he ever found out."But she wants to make me happy. He thought. Nobody's ever wanted that for me before. and she knows what I am. The feeling inside him was one of completeness, for a few bright minutes. He'd told her his secrets, she'd told him hers, and neither one was ready to end the friendship. "I guess now that we're so close. you can just call me Jack." He said, quietly.  
  
"I want you to do what you think is right," she responded evenly to his comment about killing the other girl, even though she had admittedly felt a sharp twinge of jealousy thinking about her. It sounded weird coming from her, a villianess in training, to speak of rightness, especially to a super villain. A slight smile graced her beak,"My dad may be a lot of things but if they're anything I've learned it's that he talks big, but he rarely acts on it. Besides, what he doesn't know won't hurt him," she added with a mischevious look, snuggling closer to him and nuzzling her beak against his neck.  
  
Quackerjack saw the look of jealousy, interpreted it correctly, and went about fixing the misunderstanding. "There wasn't anything between us." he murmured, drawing her close, "Ever."  
  
Jack nodded wistfully. "No, I don't suppose it would be right to kill her." He admitted, "But even if it was, I wouldn't do it, because I can tell it's not what you want me to do."  
  
He nearly melted when she started nuzzling him. He managed to save face by drawing her into a tight hug and kissing her hair. "Nobody's ever done this.been so nice to me before." he whispered, reluctant to break the silence, "I owe you quite a lot. but right now I'm just glad you're here. I think we could do anything right now."  
  
She shivered slightly and smiled as he held her "I think we could too, Jack.." She smiled, stroking his cheek and kissed him lightly on the beak. Her father would probably kill HER at this point for being so rebelous and purposely persuing one of his team but she really didn't care. All that mattered was this moment and this kiss.She curled her arms around his shoulders and held him close until the clock chimed 11 PM.  
  
"Dang," she muttered, pulling back with a sigh," I guess I better be getting back...my dad'll throw a fit." She didn't mention that she'd glady have stayed with him forever though it was plain in her eyes as she stood up.  
  
Quackerjack couldn't help the brief spasm of pain that shot across his face. He would do anything to stay with her, just basking in the reflection from her glory.  
  
`So walk her home.' Mr. Banana Brain suggested suddenly.  
  
"You shut up! I'm not talking to you, stupid." Quackerjack said, fiercely. Then he glanced down at Celeste. "I think I should walk you home, at least to the street... It's dangerous outside, with so many lunatics out there." He offered his hand. "Unless you don't want me to.?"  
  
Celeste raised an eyebrow. Why was he yelling at the puppet? Oh well, must be a guy thing, she thought as she shrugged it off and returned took his hand, smiling. "I love it."  
  
* * * And I don't want the world to see me 'Cause I don't think that they'd understand When everything's made to be broken I just want you to know who I am  
  
And I don't want the world to see me 'Cause I don't think that they'd understand When everything's made to be broken I just want you to know who I am  
  
And I don't want the world to see me 'Cause I don't think that they'd understand When everything's made to be broken I just want you to know who I am  
  
I just want you to know who I am I just want you to know who I am I just want you to know who I am I just want you to know who I am 


	5. Quckerjack Seeks Advice

Chapter 5  
Quckerjack Seeks Advice  
  
If you're not the one then why does my soul feel glad today? If you're not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way? If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all I never know what the future brings but I know you're here with me now We'll make it through and I hope you are the one I share my life with... I don't wanna run away but I can't take it, I don't understand If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am? Is there any way that I can stay in your arms? If I don't need you then why am I crying on my bed? If I don't need you then why does your name resound in my head? If you're not for me then why does this distance maim my life? If you're not for me then why do I dream of you as my wife?  
  
* * *  
  
After the humiliating defeat he'd suffered at the hands of the Fearsome Five and a vicious spat with his wife, Steelbeak decided to end his pain forever. Even with her love and understanding for him, there was little to nothing that Victoria could do. He felt like a failure, and no amount of love and understanding could change his view.  
  
Before heading out on one cold late December night, he left a note on the kitchen table.  
  
"I've always loved you. Thank you for your love that you gave me, even if at the end my pain has overwhelmed all hope."  
  
-Steelbeak  
  
Wiping a tear from his eye, Steelbeak quietly stepped outside and drove towards the Audobon Bay Bridge. A shadow of his former self, he had lost a lot of weight and his eyes had lost their sparkle. He felt guilty for leaving his family behind, but at the same time, he did not wish to be a burden on them. He pulled the Jaguar at the side of the road and walked with a odd stagger towards the edge.  
  
Steelbeak looked into the cold, waving water with his tears nearly blinding him. Traffic roared past him but he didn't care if anyone saw him. He looked up into the stars, let out a soft cry and stepped off the edge.  
  
In a blatant instance of deus ex machina, Megavolt happened to be walking along the Audobon at that very moment. After the action-packed events of the previous twenty-four hours, it was somewhat disconcerting to find himself suddenly twiddling his thumbs, with nothing particularly dangerous or nefarious on his plate. "This must be what it's like to be a sane and law-abiding member of the populace," he remarked to himself. "*Bor*-ing."  
  
Just then he noticed the Jaguar parked up ahead. In his brain, the first thing that registered wasn't a question as to why a perfectly good vehicle was parked along the side of the road. The first thing that popped into his mind was, "Wow! Crime waiting to happen!" He grinned gleefully and ran over to the jaguar.  
  
"Ooh, nice car, very nice car, expensive leather interior, perfect chrome exterior. Hello, baby," he purred, rubbing his cheek lovingly against the hood. "Where's you mommy and you daddy, huh? Where dey at? Aw, silly naughty mommy and daddy to leave you all alone with someone like me...." He giggled. Then he stopped abruptly as he heard a splash. Slowly he turned and went to the railing of the bridge, looking over to see a figure in a familiar white suit splashing in the waters below.  
  
~What the heck..~ thought Megavolt. In an instinctive move he quickly began unlooping the long power cord on the spool at his hip. He fastened the plug end to the cable support at his left and promptly began rappelling himself down the side of the bridge. "Hey!" he yelled down to Steelbeak. "Hey, I'll be right down!" Nearing the black surface of the water, he extended his arm to the rooster. "Grab my hand, moron!"  
  
"NEVER!" Steelbeak yelled at the top of his lungs,snapping his jaws at him like a shark.  
  
Megavolt yelped and yanked his hand away, not expecting this attack.Steelbeak smirked a little. "Well dat's more like itya street rat!" Steelbeak was angry -- no, furious -- that someone  
  
would intervene with trying to stop him from putting himself out of misery. Especially a member of theFearsome Five, which was one of the reasons that had drove him to his morose decision. He snarled at Megavolt and threw a fist at him. "How dare youse try and save my life!" The rooster yelled again, this time his voice more of a cry for help than its previous angered tone. The water was fridget and it was only a matter of time that his body temperature was sinking to a dangerous level. Heshivered and looked up at Megavolt with both disgust and awe.  
  
Megavolt stared back at him. Now that he had realized that this wasn't some sort of accident and that Steelbeak appeared to have deliberately jumped into the freezing waters of Audubon Bay, he was almost as angry as the rooster. Rage filled his brain. Abruptly he stuck his hand out again, his eyes just daring Steelbeak to snap at him. "Grab. My. Hand," he said through gritted teeth.  
  
"I said NEVER!" Steelbeak repeated, his voice hoarse from the yelling and the water's cold temperatures. His plan of killing himself turned out to be a lot more difficult than he had expected. "If I would've wanted 'elp I would've asked! And I did, but 'elp came a bit too late!Why do youse want to save me?" He asked, his metalbeak chattering in the cold. He had only been in thewater for a few minutes, but already ice was starting to crystalize on his feathers.  
  
"Never mind that! Grab my hand before you're too cold to hold on." Seeing the questioning look in the rooster's eyes, he growled, "I'm not watching anyone kill themselves in front me. NO ONE!!" Megavolt suddenly screamed, startling even himself.  
  
Steelbeak's eyes widened in shock. He hadn't expected Megavolt to act so angered at over this. In his confused state, he just stared up at him, speechless.Be blinked a few times, causing ice particles to fall off his eyelashes.  
  
~No one. Not again.~  
  
Pulling his voice back under control, he glared at Steelbeak. "Now you can either take my hand, or I will damn well shock you unconscious and yank you up on my own. Your choice."  
  
In spite of the rat-like creature's persistance,Steelbeak remained stubborn. He bared his teeth andsnorted, his breath crystalizing into the cold air. "Choose de latter!" He growled, thinking that perhaps in his unconcious state he'll slip into his watery grave. Steelbeak had lost a good deal of weight, but was still heavier than Megavolt. Maybe, he hoped, he'dloose his grip on him.  
  
Megavolt smiled unexpectedly--a dark mad grin. "Ooh goody, I was hoping you would say that." He grabbed the rooster's shoulder abruptly and released every volt he had into Steelbeak's body. The backshock killed every fish in immediate vicinity before dispersing  
  
into the water. It was more than enough electricity to send Steelbeak to La- La Land.  
  
"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIEEEEEE!" Steelbeak screamed, violently thrashing about in the water and involuntarily gasping for breath as the electricy surged through his body. A bullet to the head would have just been enough, he thought. As his body slowly sunk under the water,  
  
his eyes rolled back into his head and soon enough he would be out of his misery. Or whould he be...? Megavolt was pretty darned determined to keep him alive.  
  
"Oh drat, I forgot, he's bigger than me!" grunted Megavolt as the unconscious rooster threatened to slip from his fingers. He let out a few more inches on his power cord and maneuvered into a more accomodating position, sliding his legs under Steelbeak's armpits and  
  
gripping him with his knees. Because he had just used up all of his electricity the water didn't short him out, but the freezing temperature *was* shocking. Gritting his teeth, he released the hand that had been holding Steelbeak's collar and used it to press a button on his power spool, praying that the powerful retraction mechanism would be strong enough to pull the two of them up. It was capable of zipping up his weight alone in the span of seconds..drawing up his weight together with Steelbeak's greater bulk took a full minute.  
  
Once on the bridge, Megavolt was able to open the car in short order and drag the larger male inside. Steelbeak's drenched clothes would probably ruin the nice upholstery but Megavolt figured that was the rooster's fault. He shut the passenger door and climbed into the driver's seat. "Aw man!" he said, realizing that he didn't have the car keys. Annoyed, he banked his head against the steering wheel, sounding along blast on the horn. He couldn't zap the ignition with his battery currently reading zilch in the power department, so he quickly hotwired the jag and put her in drive.  
  
Adjusting the mirror for his shorter height, he caught sight of Steelbeak shivering in the back seat and turned up the heat in the car as much as possible. Take his eyes off the road to do this, he accidentally slid into the left-hand lane. Cars swerved to avoid him, honking angrily. "Yeah, you'd *better* move it," he yelled. He laughed evilly as he drove to the lighthouse.  
  
Steelbeak's shivering was distrupted with a violent twitch. He was awoken by Megavolt's yelling and opened an eye. Everything in his vision was blury and the first thought that came to his mind was that he had died and that was starting a new life. The rooster kept shivering and slipped back into unconciousness.  
  
Megavolt glanced in the mirror again and noticed Steelbeak moving. "Hang on, man, we're almost there," he said. Now that his initial anger had worn off--suicide and attempted suicide was something that made Megavolt mindbogglingly angry--he was starting to feel bad for Steelbeak. The criminal mastermind must be in some terrible pain if he was taking such extreme measures. Megavolt wondered what had happened.  
  
Megavolt pulled up at the base of the lighthouse and got out of the car. He opened the passenger door. "Come on, big guy, out of the car." He shooked Steelbeak's shoulder briskly. "Come on, you can do it. Out you get."  
  
He threw Steelbeak's arm over his shoulders, trying to provide a support on the way up the lighthouse's winding steps. "We're at my place. No hospital. I don't like hospitals. Everyone's sick at hospitals. And the nurses are scary. Plus they've got phones. And phones can call cops. And cops are scarier than nurses. I don't like cops. I don't like hospitals. I've got warm blankets  
  
upstairs. Blankets are good. No hypothermia for us, right? Right!" He laughed cheerfully, trying to energize the rooster with his rapid chatter.  
  
Steelbeak slowly opened his eyes, his vision still blurred. From what he could make out, he was beingcarried up a set of stairs in a tower-like building. In his over-weary, half-concious state, he couldn'ttell who was carrying him, or were he was going. Even the voice was unfamiliar, yet comforting in an odd sort of way.  
  
The first thought he had was was was that he was being led into a hospital, yet his rescuer reassured him otherwise. From head to toe he was in a great deal ofpain -- both emotionally, and physically. After blinking a few times he recognized the figure who had  
  
saved him from a decision that he could not reverse.  
  
"Megavolt...?" Steelbeak whispered, his staccato voice strained and barely audible. Feeling weak and freeble, he barely had enough strength to lift his head.  
  
"Present!" said Megavolt cheerfully, standing in front of him. He had situated the rooster in the control room, where Megavolt's sofa and happy- making afghan were. "Fabric material of an insulating persuasion, coming right up." He pulled out a crappy-looking cardboard box and pulled out armfuls of blankets, tossing them on top of Steelbeak. "Hmm....I think I have a floor heater around it somewhere...it's broken but I can fix it up in a jiffy....Ooh. Looky-here." Suddenly he stood up, holding an eggbeater. "Cool, I didn't know I had any of these left! I wonder if I--" Forgetting about Steelbeak, he started tinkering with various gadgets and doohickeys lying around on the floor. Hey, don't forget, he's pretty crazy.  
  
Steelbeak groaned, looking up at Megavolt inconfusement. His now-gaunt frame was finally warmingup, and his breathing became a little more relaxed. His silver eyes were glazed with tears and he quickly shut them in an effort hide his emotions. Every move he made brought on pain, and he wondered just how he was able to survive the ordeal he put himself into.  
  
The last encounter he had with the yellow-clad creature of unknown species was not a particularly pleasant one. After all, he was one of the few that had witnessed the rooster biting Celeste and practically turning the Fearsome Four upside down. Tears streamed down his face, and he weakly turned his head away to hide his emotions.  
  
"Why are youse wastin' yer time on me?" Steelbeak asked, his voice muffed as he leaned his face into a blanket. "Y-You've seen what I did"  
  
Megavolt looked up abruptly from the electric can-opener that he was currently using on a can of spam. "Wow...no cookies for you," he said, shaking his head.  
  
Looking serious for a moment, he got up and went over to sit on the edge of the couch, next to the supine rooster. "Look, I'll admit it, I'm an evil nutjob whose operations of choice take place outside of moral and legal parameters--plus I'm not your biggest fan at the moment--but I've got this serious problem with people killing themselves...." he began, unaware that he was about to be interrupted by Quackerjack.  
  
* * * The walk was short but pleasant.  
  
She smiled as she stared up at the stars, trying to think of something to say, "Ever seen a Star Sapphire? They look like they have a little twinkling star trapped inside. That's what I want for my engagement ring someday if a guy ever proposes to me. Diamonds are so...common place and unoriginal," she commented as they walked, closing her eyes a smiling as the wind ruffled her feathers. "But a star sapphire to me would be the most romantic thing in the universe because it'd be as if he plucked a tiny, precious star from the sky just for me. " She blushed as she realized she was babbling and they were already back at the warehouse that was Negaduck's personal abode.  
  
Quackerjack in the meantime was occupied listening to Celeste. Her voice was, in his opinion, the sweetest music in the world. One thought buzzing in circles in his mind was that he wanted to give her something. He wasn't sure if he had enough money back at the hideout to get her anything near as expensive as he thought a ring might be. Quackerjack began to mentally calculate what he had saved up, but not being very adept at knowing the prices of jewelry, he soon concluded that he had no idea. He gave that up and decided instead to visit one of the stores later and compare prices. For some bizarre reason, it never occurred to the toy-maker to simply steal one.  
  
All the furnature in Negaduck's hideout was either red, black or yellow, a massive TV set dominanting the "living room", and ofcourse the walls were decorated with weapons racks holding everything from dynomyte to shootguns and chainsaws to a bazooka!  
  
"Wow." Quackerjack said, looking around, "This place has more firearms than a disgruntled post office." He let his eyes wander over the various implements of destruction with awe, thinking with sadistic joy the kind of mayhem he could cause with just one of the precious beauties. He reeled in those thoughts, remembering that he was in someone else's home, and that it was better to be polite. He looked up the stairs, a childish urge prodding him to see if she really did have any toys in her room. He walked over to the couch and sat down carefully, wondering what he would say if Negaduck burst through the door. Probably `hello' followed by `please, don't kill me!' Then he remembered what Celeste had said about her father being more bark than bite. Maybe that was true; after all, she'd certainly be closer to Negaduck than the Four were.  
  
"Can I see your room?" he hastily added, "Please?"  
  
Celeste blinked in surprise then blushed,"Uh, sure! this way.." she lead him up the stairs and down a hall to her room. The wallpaper was a deep purple with splashes of red, black and yellow, adorned with various pictures of herself with Negaduck and several paintings she'd  
  
done from portraits to animals to mythological things. A massive rack of CDs sat in one corner by a silver sterio displaying mostly pop or rock titles, and almost all of them love songs. Nearby was a book case piled with Stephen King novels and Werewolf the Apocalypse RP guides next to her computer desk scattered with Resident Evil games.A few random action figures, models and plushies lay in a basket by the bed, and lastly a worn easel with the name "Drake Mallard" written on it in fading perminent marker.  
  
Quackerjack looked around at all the stuff with steadily rising interest. His gaze lingered on the games a little longer than the other things, but he resisted the urge to preach to her about the violence of video games. Instead, he looked up at the pictures. "You're really good." He commented. Quackerjack decided to pick up painting again. he felt freshly inspired. She was remarkably talented for being so young.  
  
He turned his attention to the easel, and glanced briefly at the name. "Drake Mallard?" he asked, scratching his head. Then he nodded; it must have belonged to Negaduck. Maybe that was his real name...  
  
"My uncle's," she explained without adding just who she considered her uncle. The Five were definantly not on friendly terms with Darkwing Duck.  
  
He glanced down at the at her again, a small  
  
smile curving his bill. "I'm glad I decided to talk to you this morning." He said, slowly, "I've only known you for one day and you already know more about me than Megavolt does, and I've known him since.well.for as long as I can remember, as a supervillain." I'm getting mushy again, he thought in disgust, I really gotta stop doing that.  
  
Celeste blushed deeply, smiling nervously. "Thanks for walking me home...and everything else.." She blushed nervously then her eyes lit up and she snatched up a worn sketch pad off her desk with a well used pencil and flipped to a blank page, "Hold still JUST one minute, " she scribbled at the paper with lightning speed, glancing up every other second then adding a detail here or there until she scrawled her signature across the bottom and pulled the page out,  
  
handing it to him. It was quite a flattering portrait of himself with indepth detail signed "Love Cel" at the right bottom corner and she smiled shyly, tucking the pencil in a lock of her short auburn hair, "Now you can always see yourself through my eyes.."  
  
"Wow, I look pretty cute in your eyes." He remarked. Then he chuckled as he realized what he said. "I may not be able to draw like you can, but rest assured that you look nothing short of angelic in my eyes." He looked at her sincerely.  
  
Celeste swallowed hard, taking a deep breath as she stared back, shivering a little . She grasp his hands in hers gently and worked up the nerve to add something she thought was poetic and  
  
romantic, "You know..there's something about your eyes..and it's not just that they light up a room..but..they're like a gateway to another world that I wanna be a part of." She blushed, feeling foolish and dropped her gaze, "sorry, that musta sounded dumb..I just..meant you mean so much to me..."  
  
"No, no, I know. I feel the same way.with you." He suddenly dropped his gaze, ashamed. She had given him the beautiful picture, a gift from the heart-what had he given her? Just  
  
a scribbled number. Maybe she deserved better than him, after all. "Another world." he said, thoughtfully. Those were words that had haunted him before. words from his childhood where he looked for escape from grim reality and found none. Another world. One that he was now helpless to flee from: a prison in its own right, but a cage of the mind.  
  
"I.I gotta go." He stuttered. He needed to find Megavolt. Talk to him. Megs was still the only one he wanted to help figure out his problems, and he could hardly ask Celeste for help in this emotional web-she was the center of it. He didn't want to hurt her feelings, but he was so damn confused, even scared, down inside. And being scared was what scared him more than anything did.  
  
He embraced her tightly. "I'll be back." He promised, letting go and stepping back to the door, "And you are always welcome in my home." He vaulted down the stairs, couldn't help showing off, and opened the door with a flourish.  
  
~And if Meggie isn't in the Lighthouse, I'll stab him with scissors.~He thought grimly, shutting the door behind him and heading out into the night for the Lighthouse.He approached the place carefully, knowing that Megs didn't much like interruptions and he might get shocked for it, then shook that off and walked up to the door. It was slightly open, so he stepped inside and called, "Hey, Megs??"  
  
"--EEP!!" exclaimed Megavolt. He was so startled that he fell right off the couch, ending up on the floor. "QJ! Haven't you ever heard of knocking?! I happen to have *company*!" he whined, indicating the rooster huddled under the blankets.  
  
"Ahh.sorry, Spar-Megavolt." Quackerjack amended hastily. The last thing he wanted was advice from someone who was mad at him. "It's just that I used to live in a barn, you know, and the door was always open." he trailed off lamely, knowing it wasn't particularly  
  
funny.  
  
Humiliated, Steelbeak burrowed futher into theblankets, hoping to hide from the 'intruder'.  
  
Quackerjack's eyes played over the blankets and a sudden scowl crossed his face. "Steelbeak. What a...pleasant...surprise." His tone indicated otherwise. Quackerjack turned back to Megavolt without a further glance at Steelbeak, fury evaporating."Is this guy really a pressing matter?" he asked, in a pleading tone, "I need to talk to you. Alone."  
  
"--I mean, what if I was entertaining a really hot babe, huh? And you come barging in like that, and then I'm all, like, embarassed, and she's like, "Sparky, your friends are uncouth and unmannered, so I shall withdraw my presence forthwith and I shall ne'er see thee more," and I'm like, "No, Sonia! I know I'm a crazy supervillain, and you're just a sixty watt, but I'm sure we could work something out--" and she says, "It's *TOO* late," and I'm all like, "No! Please!" and she says--" Megavolt was rattling on in the background.  
  
"How come Sonia gets to call you Sparky, but I don't?" Quackerjack whined, missing the bit about 'sixty watt', "What's so special about her?? I thought I was your friend, and friends are allowed to annoy each other, right?"  
  
"Well DUH, you're my friend! I was being hypothetical, darn it!" yelled Megavolt. "Jeez, QJ, you've got the brain of a cheese sandwich!"  
  
Then Megavolt shut up abruptly. On the one hand, he wanted to talk to Quackerjack anyway because he felt like he had a lot to handle. On the other hand, he was nervous of what Steelbeak might do in their absence. He made up his mind. "Ok, alone," he said. He picked up a remote control and handed it to Steelbeak. "This either goes to the TV or to the toaster--I forget which. I'll be RIGHT OUTSIDE with Quackerjack, ok?"  
  
Megavolt headed out the door to the winding staircase and turned to Quackerjack. "Ok, what is it?" he said bluntly. "You're currently barging in on angst, you know. I was just about to unleash a painful three- paragraph monologue on my tormented past."  
  
"Right, right, tormented past, painful-paragraphs, got it, sorry." Quackerjack said, zeroing in on what he thought were the most important parts of Megavolt's tirade and raising his hands in a 'be-calm' gesture. Then he blinked. "How can you remember your 'tormented past??' You didn't even remember my birthday last month, Elmo."  
  
"Hmph. Just for that, I'm not giving you your present either," said Megavolt, giving an indignant sniff. ~Whoops! Now I've got to go buy him a present. Shoot..~"Anyway, I remember some stuff, I just get foggy on the details. The little ones, you know--names, times, places, people...clothes, motives, speeding tickets..." He counted off on his fingers.  
  
"Never mind." Quackerjack muttered, rolling his eyes, "I really need some help. I was actually hoping you'd be alone, but I don't much care either way. Now, you know that beautiful goddess, with mahogany hair and absolutely stunning eyes? Her name's Celeste. You met her  
  
today. Or..." he glanced down at a Teletubbies wristwatch, "Yesterday, actually, since it's almost two AM. Am I going back too far?"  
  
"Uh...." said Megavolt. ~The kid?~ he thought to himself.  
  
Quackerjack put his hands on his hips and sighed. It would probably be slow going, but Megavolt was the only one he could turn to in this time of crisis. "No, well, she's Negaduck's daughter. She's fourteen, has a ravishing smile, and she's stolen my heart...I don't know if I can live without her." Quackerjack's tone suddenly became desperate. "You gotta help me, Megs!! I don't know what to do, it's all messy, and romantic, and I'm no good at mushy stuff, and, and..." Quackerjack sniffled, grabbing Megavolt's collar, and finished with a wail, "She likes Star Sapphires better than diamonds!!" He buried his face in Megavolt's jumpsuit, crying like a banshee.  
  
"Star saphires? Huh?" said Megavolt, inadvertantly putting his arms around Quackerjack.  
  
Steelbeak stared blankly at the remote that was handed to him, and contemplated sneaking out and finishing off what he started. His heart was sunk with depression. He couldn't do anything right lately."'Ow could I be so stupid?!" He hissed. With an angry snarl, he chucked the remote through a window and flinched from doing this motion. He flopped back down, remembering the vicious argument he had with his wife earlier that day that ended up in him slapping her. It didn't make him feel any better that she forgave him for his overreaction, for he had promised her that he wouldn't hurt her. With a deep, heartening sigh he rested his head into the blankets, falling asleep with tears streaming down his face.  
  
Megavolt turned his head abruptly at a "whooshing" sound in the other room. He was just in time to see his remote fly out the window. "Awwwwww..." he started to protest, then remembered the tearful jester who was currently sobbing on his chest. He gave Quackerjack an awkward squeeze. "There there, it's the thought that counts. "Maybe you could get her a Barbie doll or something."  
  
"A b...a b-barbie doll? M-Megavolt, I need advice, not standup comedy!" Quackerjack sniffled, wiping his runny bill on Megavolt's arm. "I don't wanna get her killed like my sister..." he continued, not really caring if Megavolt even knew what he was talking about, "And everyone who I come into contact w-with dies or goes mental!" he sobbed, "I m-might as well just go jump off a bridge, it'd be better for h-her in the long run." He was unaware of Steelbeak's recent suicide attempt to do just that.Quackerjack let go of Megavolt and just stood for a few moments, weeping softly. "B- better for everyone in this whole uncaring city. Who am I kidding anyway...I'm not making anybody happy. Everyone's miserable!!" He glanced up, wiping his eyes, then said, "I guess it's only fair for me to listen to what you have to say...b-before you forget it again, that is...I can remember it for you later."  
  
"Oh yeah? Well, I'll say it but I think I'll be able to remember it for myself. If you jump, I'll kill ya." Despite the ridiculousness of the statement, Megavolt didn't crack a smile.He groaned, throwing his arms up in the air. "What, am I some kind of magnet for suicidal supervillains tonight?" He folded his arms across his chest, looking from Quackerjack to Steelbeak. "I've  
  
thrown some pretty weird slumber parties in my lifetime, but this has to be the most depressing," he quipped. "Look, I don't know about you guys but I'm heating up a pot of coffee. My lighthouse, my rules. Nobody kill themselves until they have at least one cup each  
  
in their systems."  
  
In a resolute fashion Megavolt picked up a doohickey that looked part coffee-maker, part blender. "The best decisions are always made with at least .08 java content in the bloodstream. Oh Q-J..." he trilled temptingly, knowing Quackerjack's current antipathy to Steelbeak but  
  
still determined to get him into the control room proper. "If you really want good advice, I mean helpful help in a distinctly advisory capacity, you should stick around...Mocha, latte, cappuccino anybody?"  
  
Coffee." Quackerjack muttered, "Yeah, alright.umm. make it pretty strong, though. And by `pretty strong' I mean that water is `pretty wet.'" Then he glanced up at Megavolt strangely. "What kind of slumber parties.?"  
  
"Wouldn't *you* like to know," Megavolt responded glibly.  
  
Quackerjack shuddered. "I think I can imagine." He said, "And I have the strangest feeling that it involves electronics. Oh whatever.." Quackerjack gave in with a sigh; stepping back inside  
  
and throwing a distinctly violent look at Steelbeak. "So, what exactly do you suggest I do about...ahhh...Miss X, besides emptying the market on little girl toys?" He asked, quietly, taking a seat on the floor.  
  
"Shoot, that really narrows down the suggestions, doesn't it?" reflected Megavolt. "Well, let's think about it logically."  
  
Soon the room was filled with the aromatic smell of coffee.  
  
He stood up again, crossed over to Megavolt, and tapped him. "Megs. I wanna marry her." he whispered, with a look over his shoulder at Steelbeak, and added, "I wouldn't worry about him, he's weaker than a sugar-addict on a two week withdrawal."  
  
"All right!" Megavolt handed Quackerjack a red mug that said "My Mom Loves Me" and Steelbeak a chipped mug with a Garfield comic around the side. "And for myself--the cute frog mug! Because I am the guru of dating tips," said Megavolt. He took a sip from the hideous green mug and went glassy-eyed. "Mmm...java...."  
  
Quackerjack stared down into his mug for a few seconds, swirling the contents with a thoughtful look, as though contemplating the meaning of the universe. He spilled a few drops on the floor and moved a foot discreetly to cover the splash. Then he took a gulp, grinned enthusiastically at Megavolt, even though he didn't really care for coffee without sugar, and nodded to himself. "Thanks, Megavolt." He added, humbly, "I honestly don't know what I'd do without you."  
  
"Ok. First of all--QJ, DON'T talk about marriage this soon. You've only known her for 24 hours. Second of all--ARE YOU COMPLETELY OUT OF YOUR SKULL?! She's Negaduck's progeny! He's gonna kick your butt into the next city if you hook up with her, and that's if he doesn't KILL YOU. Gasp! And me for even knowing you!" added Megavolt with a  
  
fearful whimper. He took a gulp of coffee.  
  
Quackerjack stared. He was speechless for a few minutes. Then he stood up, eyes narrowing into furious slits and rage bubbling up in his brain. "THAT'S your idea of help!?" He cried, "THAT'S how you help a friend in need?!" His fists clenched, and he realized he was gritting his teeth so hard that it hurt, but he didn't ease up.  
  
"You know something, Megavolt?" He asked, his voice lowering in much the same way Negaduck's did when he was near the edge. "This is the first girl who's ever cared about me, and I mean really cared. And all you can say is that I'm crazy, and that her father's going to  
  
kill me?! And you!! But mostly, all you REALLY care about is you!! That's so... so... SELFISH!" he spat, throwing the half-full mug down. It smashed against the floor. "Well, you can just pretend you were busy cleaning that mess up if Negaduck comes around, asking if you've helped me tie the knot with his kid." He sneered angrily, "Just so you don't get into any kind of trouble, heaven forbid."  
  
He whipped around, bells smacking against his back, and stopped at the door, grabbing onto the doorframe and fuming. He opened his bill to say something final. A real crusher. "And my mom is dead!" He screamed, referring to the broken mug. Then he closed it again and slammed the door behind him with teeth-rattling force, stomping off down away from the Lighthouse, a low growl forcing its way through his clenched jaws. He stopped a little way away and sat down, feeling numb.  
  
Megavolt just stood frozen in the same spot, staring at the door. Then he ran to it and flung it open. "Well, SO IS MY DAD!!" was all he could scream, but Quackerjack had already disappeared down the stairs. "YOU JERK!!" fumed Megavolt. "Maybe I wasn't finished with  
  
what I was saying, huh? HUH?! You STUPID--" He was so frustrated that he began screaming incomprehensibly and flinging java-powered voltage down the winding staircase, to no avail. Suddenly he slumped against the inner doorjamb. All the energy had left his body. "You think you're the only one in the world with problems?" he whispered. "You...moronic cretin. I hate you."  
  
~No I don't.~ thought Megavolt. ~He's my friend. The stupid jerk.~ His shoulder shook as he held back an angry sob. He pulled off his goggles and rubbed at his eyes furiously.  
  
Quackerjack kept walking until he had reached the bottom step, then he turned, hearing the cry. With a pang, the toymaker realized he had never asked Megavolt once about his past, about the events that had happened before the two of them had met. His conscience sang `guilty'  
  
in his head. He glanced back up the stairwell, knowing the rodent couldn't see him, and blinked, hot tears tracing their way down his oversized bill. Of course, he hadn't cared about how Elmo was feeling. Hadn't given any thought to anyone else's problems. He felt like he was wallowing in self- pity. Just a jackal, abusing friends when they themselves were weakened and then leaving them to rot in alleyways. Some friend. Megavolt deserved so much better than him.  
  
He leapt out of the way instinctively as a searing volt of electricity shot past him, singeing his arm. In some sadistic way, he reveled in the pain. He deserved it. Maybe if he stood a little  
  
closer to the stairs, he could get hit with one full-force and end his life- -Christ, he was doing it again!!"Damn." He spat, "What the friggin' hell is the matter with me, anyway?! I'm too wrapped up in my own little marital crap to help anyone else.not even the only guy who ever managed to relate to me; I owe Megavolt everything already! I had no right.. no right to ask for anything. He was trying to help, he was trying to save me from getting killed, and--" he broke off, repeating a famous and overused obscene term for sexual intercourse, several times. The swearing made him feel older, which was the last thing he wanted, but it was good  
  
for frustration, too. He kicked the wall, and the searing pain that shot up his leg felt better too.  
  
"I'm such a selfish son of a bitch." He snarled, glancing around. About seven years earlier, when he'd felt the same, stabbing a closed pair of scissors into his palm had made him feel better. Of course, it had hurt, that was the POINT, some joke, got the `point.' He had done something wrong, he needed to be punished. He felt like asking Megavolt where the hell he kept his stainless steel scissors, but decided instead to go back up and say he was sorry. Nine steps up, he stopped, trying to figure out just what it was he wanted to say.  
  
* * * I don't know why you're so far away But I know that this much is true We'll make it through And I hope you are the one I share my life with And I wish that you could be the one I die with And I'm praying you're the one I build my home with I hope I love you all my life I don't wanna run away but I can't take it , I don't understand If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am? Is there any way that I can stay in your arms? 'Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today 'Cause I love you, whether it's wrong or right And though I can't be with you tonight You know my heart is by your side I don't wanna run away but I can't take it, I dont understand If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am? Is there any way I can stay in your arms? 


	6. Dark Confessions and the World of the H...

Chapter 6  
Dark Confessions and the World of the Heart  
  
I sense there's something in the wind That feels like tragedy's at hand And though I'd like to stand by him Can't shake this feeling that I have The worst is just around the bend  
  
And does he notice my feelings for him? And will he see how much he means to me? I think it's not to be  
  
What will become of my dear friend? Where will his actions lead us then? Although I'd like to join the crowd In their enthusiastic cloud Try as I may, it doesn't last  
  
And will we ever end up together? no, I think not, it's never to become For I am not the one  
  
* * * Suddenly, the idea of a cup of coffee wasn't so bad to the maligned rooster. He didn't follow the conversation too well and with his hands shaking he took his first drink. He hadn't eaten or drunk anything since his spat with his wife and the warm drunk down his throat was a relief. His mind was still focused on killing himself off, but the edge was beginning to die away.  
  
"I's got no were ta go now..." Steelbeak whispered. He was beginning to tear up again, but  
  
didn't want Megavolt to see his emotions in fear of further humiliating himself. "I tried ta get back into FOWL, no use. I keep messin' ev'ryt'ing up. Just like my parents always said..dey never wanted me, I wish dey'd never had me. Victoria and I got in a fight earlier and... I slapped 'er. You see, I am a 'orrible person. Negaduck should've shot me when he 'ad de opportunity."  
  
Megavolt sighed. He felt numb, but the desperation in Steelbeak's voice obliged a response. "Then you wait for Negaduck to shoot you," said Megavolt simply. "Seems to me when you challenged him for the leadership of the Five and attacked his kid you made a promise that he'd be the one to kill you. You put your life in *his* hands, man. It's not yours to take any more."  
  
Quackerjack froze as soft talking made its way down to him, echoing off the stairwell and into his mind. He had no right to come up, what the hell was he doing?! Quackerjack slammed his head against the wall viciously, white hot pain exploding into his brain and clearing his  
  
mind miraculously. But he had no false illusions about that particular technique-each use made him more insane, snapping his brain even further with the strain, similar to hitting a TV to get  
  
better reception but breaking it more each time. He stood, crying, out of instinct, and wishing he had a mother's arms to run to. He was hurt, but he owed it to Megavolt to leave the rodent alone.he turned to step back down and leave, as he originally intended, but stopped again. He couldn't go, either. He had to just.stay right here. Quackerjack didn't question the motive, born of insanity and desperation, and so did just that. He. Just. Stood. Didn't even try not to eavesdrop.  
  
Megavolt turned to face Steelbeak, his mismatching eyes looking at the rooster steadily. "How much do you think it hurt your wife when you hit her, Steelbeak? A minute or so of real physical pain? Maybe she'll have a day or two while her cheek is a little sore. And there's the shock she feels from you losing control, lashing out at her. I'm not gonna lie to you, that's real hurting. So you wanna give her a lifetime of pain? You want her to wake up every day with you not there, not because you were gunned down at forty-five or had a heart attack at 60, but because one cold evening you threw yourself off a bridge after hitting her? Wanna give her decades of blaming herself for *your* suicide?"  
  
Quackerjack couldn't help it, he crept up two more stairs, straining to hear, he had to, damnit, had to. owed Megavolt.something in his friend's voice spoke frighteningly of experience, and he had to be there, he was a friend himself, hard enough to believe. A poor, pathetic friend, but a friend all the same. He needed to remember this. How could Megavolt know that the suicide's friends would feel the pain, after all? It was a morbid curiosity that whipped him,  
  
goaded him further up, stopping at step twenty, still out of sight, the invisible devil perched on his left shoulder nodding at him, for once the smaller angel sitting on the other agreeing fully. He sat on the step shakily, to listen, to hear Elmo out.  
  
"What about your kid? Little girl, some weird name that I can't remember. Thought about how she's gonna feel without her dad? How lonely she's gonna be? How she'll blame herself too? Because she will, ya know. Kids are even dumber than spouses. They'll blame themselves for the stupidest..." Megavolt turned away abruptly, unable to go on for a moment.  
  
The silence that renewed for the moment sounded like a graveyard's still. Quackerjack felt the tears drying on his face, then reached up to his head, pulled the harlequin hat off for the first time in public since he was thirteen. He ran a hand though fiery red hair, balled up in a scruffyponytail under the hat, pulled it back against his neck, combed it with his fingers, and listened, waiting silently. He felt strangely hopeful. like Megavolt would describe the story of a friend of a friend who had committed suicide, nothing that would hurt Elmo directly.. But he knew deep inside that that was not the case, even as he dropped the hat with a noisy jangle to the bottom of the stairwell. He felt it was mostly the figurative sense-if he was to listen in on Megavolt's story, he had to do so without hiding behind the mask. The one thing he'd been depending on hiding behind for the better part of his life.  
  
"You know, my dad died when I was twelve years old," he said in a quiet voice, looking away from Steelbeak. "And he wasn't a villain or a hero or a criminal or anything. He was just a guy, just a regular guy. And he didn't get stabbed by a burglar, and he didn't get poisoned by some corporate shark, and he didn't get beaten to death by the police. He shot himself. In the head. I was the one who found the body."  
  
Quackerjack sucked in breath sharply, closing his eyes inadvertently against the bloody, 3-D images that swarmed up and threatened to engulf his mind. He cursed his vivid imagination, playing the scene over and over for him, and couldn't shake the picture. He pressed the heels of his hands to his eyes so hard that the afterimage stayed for a minute, then pushed his trembling palms against the wall, trying to regain control. He thought of Dimitri shooting himself, instead of  
  
him doing it. It would have made a hardened criminal cheer. After all, Dimitri was a bastard, an abusive father, one of the reasons for Quackerjack's decline into insanity. But he'd still been a father, the only one Jack had. A father who was not killed by his own hand, or by some stranger. shot by his own son. Shot after hitting the child who lived in his house but was not his daughter. Somehow, Quackerjack knew it would have been so many times worse if Dimitri  
  
had taken the gun and done the job himself. At least since he had shot his father, Quackerjack could know; knew with certainty that it was he who had done it, and wasn't doubting himself. He rocked back and forth for a few seconds, whimpering like an animal, just sharing in the raw pain that Megavolt had kept from him for so many years, and not because he was some paranoid miser with the knowledge, but because Quackerjack, proverbial friend-of-he-who-needs-no-other-enemies, had never bothered to ask. It stung like a slap, and he finally knew that it was him. It was all his fault. He was the bastard, not Dimitri.  
  
"He'd been fighting depression for years. Some days were up, some days were down. He couldn't hold on to a job. Some days he couldn't even get out of bed. And he hated himself. He felt like his life was worthless, and like all he was good for was making his wife and son miserable. Sometimes when he thought I was asleep at night, he'd come in my room and sit on the edge of my bed and just cry. And he was right, I was miserable. But I loved him. And all I wanted was for him to be happy."  
  
"Oh, my god." Quackerjack whispered, freezing in mid-whimper. The words. `all I wanted was for him to be happy' .that was almost a mirror of what Quackerjack had wanted for his sister, before she was hit, hit so hard that she fell. and Quackerjack, ten year old boy with red hair and eyes that would never genuinely sparkle again. well, he felt that loss like a sucker- punch to the face, like a wake-up jab. He wanted nobody else to share in that pain. He now knew-this was the secret Megavolt had that made Quackerjack instinctively move away. This was what he sensed in the other, like some storm cloud on the horizon. He hung his head in shame. Where was he when Megavolt was hurting from this? He figured it was about the time he was running his little gang in the rundown part of St. Canard. Shooting other people's parents. God, he was such a bastard. He thought again, screwing his eyes closed and yanking at his hair, trying to stay focused.  
  
"He went on this new drug, and for a while it looked like he was getting better. And then I came home from school and I heard the gunshot, just as I came in the door. And I went in my parents' bathroom, and there was blood all over. That drug gave him just enough life, just enough energy to kill himself. You know, he could have pushed me down the stairs, or told me he hated me, or given me a black eye every day, and it wouldn't have hurt as much as that moment when I saw my dad and he was dead and he had killed himself. And it never stopped hurting either, and I never stopped blaming myself. I always felt like if I'd gotten there a minute earlier, if I'd listened to him more." Megavolt laughed miserably. "If I'd gotten better GRADES. If I'd never been BORN."  
  
Quackerjack's heart dropped in pain, felt like it had been ripped out and hastily stuffed back in. He kept asking himself, with dogged persistence, just where the hell he had been when Megavolt was all alone, crying, probably, from this,when Celeste was shivering in a gutter in the rain, and when Steelbeak was growing up fatherless. "Where was I then?Where,where.?" he asked in a wavering, singsong voice, insanity looming. Oh, yeah. This was probably when his uncle had died. The only death besides his sister's that he had really felt, felt deep inside. now  
  
that was irony. The pain inside.Like his soul was crumbling, bleeding, crying tears of misery, mingled with the blood. He felt the same way now. Wanted to reach out for Elmo, take him in a hug, just keep him away from the world that had only given them both pain, shield the sometimes frail and helpless psyche of Megavolt's with his own, a rampart that now stood only barely, would crumble at the slightest hesitation.Wanted to protect Celeste from the bullies that had tormented her everyday of her childhood. He wanted to do something, anything. even felt like trying to defend Steelbeak, even though Quackerjack hated him at the moment.Nobody deserved to grow up without a father. Yet all four of them, at some point in their lives, had done just that.He hated feeling helpless. He had taken the gun when he was ten, felt it press into his small hand, fired the shot and felt the recoil, and felt control. Glorious, deity-like control. He had been in power of the situation. But here.here: he was helpless, he could do nothing, just listen as Megavolt poured out his heart to Steelbeak, and no, it should be me, should be ME there listening, hugging, trying to help, but I'm here, I threw a cup, nearly threw it at him, why?! For what gain?!  
  
Help me, I'm gone inside, missing something I need in there, and I want to help him before he loses it too, that's not too bad, is it, is it? I wanna do good now! Scrooge got his chance, Pinnochio got his, I want mine! Make the insanity leave, ten minutes, max., just enough for me to help, to offer coherent empathy! If I never get another wish, gimmie this and I forgive you everything! My sister, mom, dad, Uncle Richard, my failures. EVERYTHING, just gimmie this, gimmie, gimmie, I don't want anything else, please, anything but Celeste, just don't take her away. But I'll give anything else, money, blood, charity, jail time, community service, anything.. He pleaded, prayed, looking up with forlorn eyes at the ceiling, wishing with all his heart. If hoping could make it true, someone would listen.  
  
Why aren't you helping me, Uncle Richard, why aren't you helping me, he's my goddamned friend!! You were there when the Jack Gang shot you, be there now, help me!! The words were bubbling up in a long strand in his mind, screaming louder and louder, joining with the other voices, the ones that already lived in his mind, echoing like a cathedral full of screaming  
  
children, and he couldn't take it. He grabbed his head, pulled his hair, bit his tongue and felt salty, warm blood in his mouth, but through it all kept absolutely silent, wanted to hear the end of this storytale out of hell, and all for love of his friend. He wouldn't fail again, he'd listen, damnit, he'd listen to make up for all those times he'd turned away.  
  
"I absorbed myself in my schoolwork. I barely even talked to other kids. I got first place in every single science fair but one, in tenth grade, and then I got so upset I got a knife and sliced up my arm. I just wanted to hurt myself, punish myself for not meeting my standards, but my mom was certain I was trying to kill myself. She screamed at me for an hour and told me that I was a selfish little S.O.B. and what did I think I was doing, growing up to throw my life away like my dad did? and then she hugged me and cried until two o'clock in the morning."  
  
It was here he started feeling jealousy, rising, despite himself. Where was his mother? Witness to dear old dad's murder, had to pull the trigger on the bitch. That was his reasoning before, ten year old killer, cold as a snake. He thought, then, of the two bullets in his parents, two more left. One for his sister's body, to reinforce his story that his father had shot them and then killed himself, and the other one was for him. But he'd held back, keeping the two bullets  
  
left for two main reasons. One. he couldn't bear to shoot his sister, couldn't, was so pain-wracked by the loss, but she looked so much still like she was just sleeping. The ten year old had never noticed she was breathing still, her chest was rising and falling softly. The reason he hadn't shot himself? He didn't want the way out, it was too hard to kill himself. Took too much courage for him, and the gun was suddenly too heavy in his little hand. It was easier to stay in the known, the now, make hell for everyone else. Strip them of their parents, their kids, brothers, sisters, uncles, aunts. He wanted to make his own little holocaust in St. Canard, and the gang was the result. For some reason, it was easier to live with the pain if he multiplied it tenfold for everyone else. Now it burned his face with shame. There were some things of his past he'd held dear, even from Celeste. How could he tell her, girl without a family, that it was  
  
him who desired it? He desired to see the screaming, pain-filled little brats as their parents fell and died in their own fluids. it made him feel sick now, and the coffee threatened to come up. He clutched his stomach, sweat dripping from his bill to the floor, and felt so ill.but he still could hear the conversation. There was no mercy from Megavolt, who didn't even know he was causing the pain. Cutting himself. he'd tried that, too. So many times more than Elmo, simply because nobody stopped him. But he gave up the habit when a neighbor had called the local asylum on him. He couldn't even hurt himself anymore; even that was stolen from him.  
  
"So you know what?" Megavolt looked at Steelbeak again. "You feel bad now? Feel like a first-prize shmuck? You should feel what your daughter's gonna feel when she grows up to realize what her daddy did, the night he killed himself. You should feel what her mommy's  
  
gonna feel like, when not only is she left alone and coping with the kid on her own, but when she hurts herself because she's thinking, "God, if only I stopped him before he headed out the door. If I only told him I forgave him. If we'd only talked about it like grown-ups and done something to get him help." And every "if" is like another punch in the gut, is worse than any slap could ever feel. You think about how that will feel, Steelbeak. Think about it real hard."  
  
"I think I will, too." The words would have been real dramatic, really like a scene from a movie, if Quackerjack's voice wasn't so subdued, if his face wasn't so pale and sickly, if he'd stood tall  
  
instead of collapsing to his knees, half from weakness, half from desperation. Words in his mind threatened to burst from his mouth, so many apologies, when none of them could come close to how he felt. Killing himself felt like a far-off dream, and he wanted to just run to Mommy, to make it end. A dream that was only that. He would never hold his mother again, unless he dug up the grave and embraced her remains. That was a sick joke.  
  
Megavolt froze. Slowly he turned to see Quackerjack on the steps just below.  
  
"Megavolt." he whispered, crying again. Damn, he was always crying, and suddenly he was trembling, too, and how weak this all looked, and how terribly unfunny. His mind snapped even further, get the joke, his mind pleaded, like a life-raft for a drowning man, and hoarse,  
  
bitter laughter rang, harsh in the quiet; unbelievable emotion for what he had just heard. He would probably laugh at his own funeral if he was able to."I get it.ha, hah, HAH! I get it!" he trilled, eyes wide and bill curved into a twisted smile, but the joy was evident absolutely  
  
nowhere in the haggard, tired, and lined face. He wasn't fooling anyone. "I get it, you. your dad, he died, he killed himself: life's a joke! He just got the punch-line early!" Quackerjack's laugher was insane and bitter, last refuge of a madman to make light of a situation  
  
where humor had no place.  
  
At first Megavolt just stared at the jester. He was too tired to register anything at the jester's words, other than a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach, a feeling of nausea. The laughter was what made him feel again, made him confused--  
  
~Why is he laughing?~  
  
It was Quackerjack's laughter: deranged, unhinged, but taken a pitch beyond agony. And Megavolt knew what he was doing, as surely as he knew his own mania: laughing at the shadow threatening to consume you, at the crack in the rubber-insulated nether coils, at the unknown enemy threatening your barracked reservation, the private corner of your identity. Just laugh hard enough and it'll go away. A cackle a day keeps the doctor away. Heh. The man in the white white coat. It should be a motto on a T-shirt for crazy villains. All the mad, villainous laughter you could spew out--and it wasn't a weapon but a shield, and if that got knocked away then what defenses did you have left? What defenses that mattered?  
  
"Hit me!" he pleaded suddenly, still giggling softly, "Stop me, this is SICK, I'm, hah, hah, I'm laughing!!" He cut himself from that thought, and his voice renewed, some thread in his mind redoubling his efforts to make his thoughts heard. "How. how do you live with it? Jeez, Megavolt. how? You. you must be broken inside." His voice was ebbing again, changing to sobs, and then he ran a hand through his hair, remembered his hat was lying forgotten on the stairs. He sighed deeply, the sigh of a mother whose child had gone astray.  
  
Megavolt had never seen Quackerjack's hair before and that gesture suddenly brought it to prominence--thick and red and unruly. The jester never went without his harlequin hat. They were the badguys, right? They wore masks. When a villain or a hero unmasked, it was an action that had made buildings topple and traffic stand still and papers shriek black print.  
  
~Exposed.~ He was dimly aware of the goggles dangling in his hand at his side. Quackerjack was approaching him, unmasked. It was so incongruous, that hair, so bright and red, and so wild, so strangely boyish. But there was nothing boyish in Quackerjack's face.  
  
Quackerjack was suddenly next to Megavolt, was hugging the rodent for all he was worth. Was whispering, "I'm so sorry, God, you don't know how sorry I am, I wanted to know, but not like this.I should have asked you, I was such a piss-poor friend, ohhh.please, don't hate me  
  
for it, I'm so sorry." He hugged the other tightly, and nothing, no-one, not Negaduck  
  
himself, could order him away. This was his friend, his best friend, who had seen him through thick, through thin, was here now, not asking but needing the help, and it was his turn, and Steelbeak as his witness, he wasn't going to disappoint."I never, never should have turned my back on you, and I'm here, I'm here, but it's too late, oh." He slowed, like a broken wind-up toy nearing the end of its clockwork life, his arms felt weak, like the rest of his body. He let them drop, just stared into the odd eyes, the ones that had watched him commit crimes, practically murder, and never, never testified against him. His own eyes, he knew were shining with tears, but empty of emotions. There was no joy, he wasn't projecting it anymore, it was all gone, like the flames from a doused fire. He looked his full age for a vulnerable moment; pretty old for those who knew him well.  
  
Megavolt couldn't respond. It was too much, too fast. The words were like a wave, rushing over him, caught in a barrel, lost in the last eddies. He would be submerged. He would lose everything, the ultimate short-circuit, spiraling into the dark depths of an ocean deeper than pain. He stood unmoving, his body stiff in the jester's arms, unable to either pull Quackerjack closer or push him away.. He couldn't trust his voice, couldn't trust himself. For now, for this instant, he knew that if he said anything to the jester he would lose it. He would fall apart.  
  
~Hah! And what is it that you think you've *been* doing, Elmo? What  
  
is this if not falling apart?~  
  
Steelbeak hung onto every word that Megavolt had said. Once again, he was wrong, and someone else was right. Not nessarily a bad thing, he silently admitted to himself -- especially in this case. He felt awful, damn awful. There weren't enough words in the dictionary to  
  
describe his feelings. It was more than just being defeated again. It was something more. 'Why didn't I consider dis before?' He thought to himself, choking back tears. The visual of the funeral came back to haunt him. He slowly nodded, sobbing quietly again. "I've...I've  
  
reconsidered my decision, Megavolt. My...My family means de whole woild do me. I want to see my daughter grow up, get married. I want to grow old wi't Victoria." He paused for a moment. "D-Dat firey babe's my guardian angel!"  
  
Megavolt couldn't trust himself to respond to Quackerjack's words. Not yet. It was too intense. The pain in the jester too closely mirrored his own. Steelbeak's gave him something just different enough to hold on to, something so important that had to be said. "That's good, Steelbeak. That's good. It's important--so...important...." he tried, but faltered. "When you've got someone, and they've got you. Don't ever forget. You have to keep it. You have to maintain the connection. It's the spark that keeps us going." He turned to look at Steelbeak. "You have love, man. You've got something...so *precious* there. You have to remember it,  
  
every day that you wake up and every night that you go to sleep. Because you never know when something could happen--when you could lose someone--" he broke off abruptly and slowly turned back to Quackerjack.  
  
The jester's shoulders slumped,"I should have been there for you, both of you.... then. Now, too. There's no excuse for my actions. Can you ever find it in yourself to forgive me, to give me just one more chance? I. I'll bear the pain with you, and I wasn't going to really kill myself, not then, not now, not ever, I was all talk, it was for attention, I'm not ready to die. I had no idea your dad." He stopped, then glanced away. Suddenly, he felt a small flame inside his heart. His wish had been granted. He could think more clearly now. Jack looked back, put one hand on Megavolt's shoulder, and spoke. "I guess the joke's on us, huh, buddy?" he asked, and his  
  
voice was so many things at once--bitter, ironic, sarcastic, sad, but one thing it always used to be was lacking here: happy. There was no ounce of happiness in his tone. His head drooped and he stared at his feet. "I won't let you suffer alone anymore. I'm. I'm here, if you want me to be, and I'm more sorry than words could convey."  
  
Quackerjack's hand was like a heavy weight on Megavolt's shoulder. Megavolt leaned in slowly, rested his chin on Quackerjack's head. "Idiot," he said softly, and he didn't know who he was saying it to. His arms enfolded Quackerjack and Megavolt held him, tight like he  
  
was trying to keep something together, but gentle, like he was scared it was going to break.  
  
~And all this time I've wished I was stronger.~  
  
"Don't misunderstand this," Megavolt said quietly, his face in the hollow of Quackerjack's shoulder. He brought up his hand to touch the scruffy ponytail at the nape of the jester's neck, running his fingers through the individual strands of hair slowly. Once. To show his understanding for Quackerjack's gesture of unmasking. Twice. To show his gratitude.  
  
"No, of course not." Quackerjack said, and his voice was strained. Forgiveness, oh, was there anything else that brought so much relief, so much warmth to the recipient? His uncle would be proud, wherever he was. Somehow, he thought he might've been embarrassed to show off  
  
his face without the mask, some other day. It was important to do it here. How long, after all, could one go on hiding beneath a mask, whether it was one of cloth or one of emotions? He felt spent, both emotionally and physically. So he just held on, the tears coming more freely now. For a precious moment, the jester was holding onto something in his soul, something that made him feel warm, complete. The lost child in the store had found a face in the crowd it  
  
recognized, and he, that child, was at peace. How could he cry, when he felt so perfectly happy? But he did, yet felt no sorrow, just a small emptiness within, like he was giving up the hate, the pain, and what was left of his mentality was rushing in like a flood to close the gap, to keep him intact.  
  
~Gotta take your guardian angels where you find 'em.~ It was too corny to say out loud, but that didn't make it any the less true.  
  
"I haven't been listening to you either," Megavolt whispered. "The damage reports were coming in, but I wasn't reading them. I'm sorry, QJ. I really am."  
  
"Please," he said, his voice coming stronger, "Don't apologize. It wasn't anything you did. I could have lashed out just the same at anyone else, it was just you who was there. I owe you too much to lose you now. Don't. just don't say anything about." he shook his  
  
head, and when he spoke again, it was barely audible. "My sister. I don't want Celeste to know that I. I haven't gotten over her just yet, so please.don't tell anyone."  
  
Carefully, he stepped back. "Megavolt, I was wrong, and you were right, and if I ever, ever pull a stupid stunt like that again. you have permission to shock me. Okay?" He winked, the smile returning hesitantly. But it was no mask this time, the pain was gone and the joviality genuine.  
  
"I wish we's could jus' go back into de past and repair de damage dat 'append," Steelbeak spoke slowly, his voice sounding much older than before and not sounding the least bit sarcastic.  
  
"We could." Quackerjack retorted, his voice returning, "Of course we could. I have the Time Top. But don't you see why I haven't done it before, tried to change it forever?" He made a helpless gesture. "If I change what is, we won't be as we are. We'll be completely different. Maybe not even around here any more. I tried it once. I went back, took the gun from my earlier self before he entered the house. He looked at me."  
  
Quackerjack paused, then continued, "He had this-this stare, like why would I do such a thing, deny him his retribution? And I told him who I was, that I was the result of what he did here. You know what he said?" Quackerjack looked at the two of them, then dropped his gaze. "He told me that I had no right to take his choice away. That ten year old saw me as I was, and told me that he wanted to go through with it, because his sister was dead. And I let him have that  
  
weapon back. I fulfilled my future. This is how I am, like it or not.If you wanted, you could go back in time. stop your father from being killed," He said, to Megavolt. "Or you, stop yourself from.from whatever it was that made you like you are. I'll let you, but the results. might be worse than the ones you were trying to alter."  
  
Megavolt didn't say anything. Evil genius that he was and as interested as he had been in time travel in times gone by insofar as it had pertained to various nefarious schemes, he had never thought of applying it to his own personal past. To his childhood....  
  
As far as possible, without reservation, Megavolt had always tried to keep his life as Elmo Sputterspark and his current identity of Megavolt, supervillain extraordiaire, completely separate. It helped that his memory was infamously faulty and that he often didn't even  
  
remember his old name. When he recalled the past, as he did now, it was to look back on the boy he had once been and the life he had once known with a kind of frightened tenderness ~Stay away from the kid in the bubble. He might break.~  
  
He didn't know how to respond to Quackerjack's offer, well-meant as it was-- on the one hand he understood the temptation of which Steelbeak spoke but on the other hand he simply didn't feel it. And yet...he should, shouldn't he? If not for himself, then for his father? The man who had been his father, in that other life of that other self so long ago.  
  
It left a lot to be pondered but for now the trio paused and let silence cover the ground of so much semi-forbidden discussion of pain and pasts.  
  
The jester moved over to the sink, grabbed a towel and started picking up the shards of the cup. He needed something to do, something more that he could calm down. The broken cup helped, as he threw the pieces into the trash can and came back for more with a vengeance.  
  
* * * Alone.  
  
When things were quiet memories came back to haunt her like wrathful ghosts, biting and clawing at her soul.After Quackerjack had rushed out so suddenly Celeste waited for hours for Negaduck to come home. Oh he'd stayed out all night before, raining havoc on the city and such, but he always called or left a note. Always. He must have been incredublly mad at her this time and this unsettling thought made her stomach ache in a very deep, agonizing way.  
  
She'd tried calling her uncle but Darkwing's phone went unanswerd and in the overbaring critisism of the silence fear crept in and the hardened child who thought her so villainous and adult began to weep.  
  
Celeste cried until her eyes were nearly swollen shut. They longed to close and wisk her away to some untainted dreamland but at the same instance her face was throbbing so badly that unfolding her eyelids was torturously painful. She longed for her father more than ever before, for his strong arms to embrace her and cradle her close the way he had for so many years.  
  
She forced herself to her feet and stumbled , leaning against her desk and inadvertantly looking into a mirror hung on her wall. Her face was reddened almost beyond recognition but the same eyes stared back at her. So much like her mothers...unwillingly the flashes of memory came rushing back of her early childhood, her father who she'd hardly caught glimpses of and her mother, so elegant, so beautiful, yet so very cold, never once bothering to check on her when she went to bed even when so sobbed herself to sleep, only willing to holdher for a publicity picture or a lunchen among her high class circle of friends where she was forced to sit on her lap in a tight, itching dress that made her small body ache and have her arm clamped down on like a vice till it left a hand print when she tried to squirm free or shift to a more comfortable position. A sudden look of hatred crossed her face. She hated those cool, regal hazel eyes. In a sudden flash of fury she struck out and drove her fist through the mirror, hearing the glass shatter and fall like crystal chimes.  
  
She watched without compassion as dark blood ozzed from the places glass had pierced her flesh and stained her feathers crimson. She slumped to her knees and , staring blankly with tear dimmed eyes. Her parents were gone. Negaduck was gone. Darkwing had deserted her. And Quackerjack was probably not coming back either..NO! She wasn't going to let him slip through her fingers, he was all she had left..all that really mattered at the moment. Without a thought she ran out the door. It was almost 4AM by now and thunder cracked overhead.  
  
The rain came in a big, bellicose torrent,cold as the hope in her heart. She ran as if something inside guided her, not knowing to where or why, but being drawn by some force that pulled at her soul.  
  
She tripped and nearly fell. looking up just as lightning flashed, and in it's momentary clearness the lighthouse's siloutte was caught, shining through the gloomy rain. The wind howled as her tired legs threatened to give out and she stumbled through the mist and into the structure, the cold bite of the storm at her back. She half crawled up the winding stair case, driven on by the crescendoing cacophony of roaring thunder and driving rain spilling over the stones.  
  
The door at the top was open and she could already see his back as she nearly collasped on the last two stairs, leaning on the door frame. "Jack?" He turned and looked at her in shock and she thought her heart would break, just staring into his eyes. Drenched in rain, blood and tears, she reached out longingly for him and was suddenly enfolded in his arms, crying softly. There they stayed, wrapped together in a haggard symbol of their once-lost dreams and newfound hope, two souls cleansed and purified by their own tears.  
  
Even in the current atmosphere of remembered pain and sorrow Megavolt couldn't help but think that it was like a scene from a movie. He didn't understand how it was that Quackerjack's girlfriend had known to find them here. Something was at work, though--something was motivating their movements this dark and stormy evening, opening old wounds, making them bleed clean. It was out there, whether it was fate, chance or some mysterious divinity. Or maybe it was just something in St. Canard's drinking water. ~Stop being irreverent,~  
  
he told himself sternly.  
  
"Celeste, Cel, oh." Quackerjack held tightly, knowing that this was wrong, so wrong. Everyone he knew would advise against this, but he couldn't help himself. She needed him, and he her. "My princess. my brave, brave goddess. my little one." he found himself saying, speaking words that passed over his mind briefly, calming words used to keep a horse from bolting away. Words that meant nothing but the emotion behind them. He held her tightly, knew she could feel him tremble like a leaf in a breeze, but he didn't care anymore. Here, surrounded by three people who were so much like him. here, he could be honest. With himself,  
  
and them."Celeste, I." He cut the words off. Silence sometimes said more than any words could. His eyes were closed, he was rocking back and forth gently, and a song was coming from his closed mouth. He was humming without even realizing it, a tune that his subconscious, as a baby, had buried into his brain. The same song that his mother had sang to him when he  
  
was hurt, afraid, confused, a child in need. But he knew he didn't see Celeste as just another child. She was his love, his only one. And there, in front of two of his equals, he poured out his heart, funnily enough, in a rendition of `Pop Goes The Weasel.'  
  
Megavolt watched his old friend embrace Celeste. He had his own doubts about Quackerjack's decision to get involved with this girl, but seeing them together he knew that "decision" wasn't really the word to use. Quackerjack and she quite simply *were* involved, and any decision on either his or her part didn't really have much to do with it. At the same time he felt a niggling sense of--could it be jealousy?--for the two and for spark between them. But he also felt  
  
a real sense of relief and honest happiness for Quackerjack, that he should find this source of joy and healing.  
  
Quackerjack finished, looked down at her, and spoke, in a trembling version of his old voice, four words that were burned into his skull from the night before, when he thought he would lose her to Steelbeak, who now was standing in the very same room. And wasn't it funny how fate.? The thought died a quick death, as the words he spoke calmed some raging inner demon. "I love you, Cel." And tears were coming again, and she was so helpless, so beautiful.  
  
he ran a hand through her hair softly, and just wished he could freeze the moment. Somewhere in his soul, he knew that he had. * * * JACK My dearest friend, if you don't mind I'd like to join you by your side Where we can gaze into the stars  
  
JACK & SALLY And sit together, now and forever For it is plain as anyone can see We're simply meant to be 


End file.
